But not happy Wedding day! While February is a wonderful time to get married (your banquet halls, musicians and New Jersey Wedding Officiants (smooth, eh?) are all wanting to get out in the “off season”, this is a decision that can cost you dearly in terms of flowers and restaurant arrangements. If you’re leaning in this direction, schedule your celebration for the week after and you’re going to be back in the “normal pricing” range.
Start a separate checking account for all your wedding related expenses, preferably one that pays interest. This way you can track what you’re spending, find deposits easily, and ceremoniously burn it when you get back from your honeymoon!
If you’ve gotten married in the last 6 months, it’s time to send those thank you notes. Include a word about how you’ve used and enjoyed the gift your guest so graciously picked out, and send along a photo of the wedding too! Even though, technically, you have a year to do this, it’s nice to do it when the excitement of the day is still fresh in your mind.
It is often a beautiful gesture to insert, into the ceremony, a moment of silence for those members who are separated from your joyous day by time, space, or illness. I use this passage, including a quote from Welly Yang;
“Playwright Welly Yang writes, in his play, “Finding Home”,
‘We are all a culmination of the people that came before us, and we’re here to finish the dreams they left unfinished’. Let us gather our thoughts and take a moment of silent meditation to remember those cannot be here with us today, although they are certainly in spirit.”
The concept of a registry is a great thing; it helps your guests figure out what you really want and need, and at their best, it will guide them to gifts at all pricepoints. That being said, you you really have a sterling silver “ice tea spoon” and “fish fork” kind of lifestyle? Maybe not. (I know that I have crystal champagne flutes that have never seen the light of day, and I drink champagne on an alarmingly regular basis; it’s just that I don’t usually have 11 friends here to do it with me…..)
You can register at all kinds of places that might suit your lifestyle in a more useful way; Home Depot, Barnes and Noble; the FHA even has a program that allows your guests to buy chunks of a downpayment on a house. (Suntrustmortgage.com does this as well…)
Where ever you register, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. The big one is that this information does not get printed on your invitations, nor does a card (announcing where you’re registered) get included in your shower invites. Your relatives and bridal party will get the news out in a more subtle and tasteful way.
If you’re going abroad for your honeymoon and you’re getting married in the spring (it WILL get here, trust me!), the time is NOW to apply for your passport because it takes time to get this accomplished. You can do this at many post offices and some libraries. You’ll need various documents and two photos. The place to go to find out all about this, and locations, is www.travel.state.gov.
There are SO much great music out there; why be constricted by an uninterested group playing the theme from “Rocky” as your entrance? Book a group that fits your personality; here are some ideas; (that being said, some are more appropriate in a small dose, like the cocktail hour or ceremony….)
String Quartet
Latin American
Steel Drums
50’s Classic Rock
The All Elvis Wedding
Klezmer Bands
Swing Groups
Motown
Samba
Jazz
Antique Instruments
Calypso
Reggae
Country
Gospel Choirs
Bagpipe Bands
Big Band
Alternative Bands
Local musicians (we have a couple great ones on the links!)
With Skype it is….you can talk to anyone in the United States and Canada for 14.95 a year. The sound quality is great, and all you need is a microphone and an earphone for your computer. You’ll love it, and it makes all those calls to photographers, New Jersey Wedding Officiants (shameless, aren’t I?) and your bridal party almost free!
www.skype.com
If you’re getting married outside in a park, your backyard, or a historic space, you still will want to mark the aisle to the ceremony space. How beautiful is this line of trees; so compatible with the environment, and happy to move to the reception space to decorate that too. Your florist can arrange this for you.
If you’re getting married at night, accent the bases with luminaries and wrap the trees with little white lights.
I first heard Rabbi Irwin Kula on PBS, as they were replaying a talk in which he discussed the “sacred messiness of life” and how we might learn from the inevitable loose ends that our days encompass. His views on life, love, and learning were galvanizing to me. One of my favorite quotes; “the more we allow ourselves to unfold, the less we will unravel”. He suggests that our yearning for love is the place that we are most likely to do that, to unravel.
He also talks about the Jewish concept of “dayenu”; wanting it all but having enough, and “never getting enough of what you don’t really need.”
I hope I’ve quoted him accurately; because I so appreciated listening to him speak. His latest book is “Yearnings; Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life”, and his refreshing and inspiring website is www.yearnings.irwinkula.com. I know you’ll enjoy his insights.
