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If you’re an animal lover,consider this; instead of a tip cup on the bar(which I just hate anyway….) put a dog bowl,and donate all the proceeds to your favorite shelter. You can take care of your bartenders privately,and some very cool animals will celebrate with you!
(Snoozy Susie is from the Beagle Rescue;hopefully,she is in a loving home now!)
Well, come on now, we know why we’re gathered here…..or do we? Does your officiant or Celebrant know? Is he or she going to use language that makes you cringe? Retell stories that you’d rather not share with 200 of your nearest and dearest? (Danny and Marsha met online while they were chatting in the “Powertools are FUN!” chatroom…) Will there be scriptural references that you don’t feel are authentic? Will the vows really reflect the promises you are going to make to each other?
These are all things that are crucial to making your ceremony, well, YOUR ceremony. You should request to see the final (or at least first draft) of your ceremony script two weeks before the wedding date. This way, you have a chance to look through it, ask your officiant to edit or omit parts that don’t speak to you, and clarify elements like unity candles, sand ceremonies or readings. It can only make the ceremony more like you, which is the point anyway.
When is a placecard not a placecard? When it’s an helicopter, a sphinx, or the taj mahal! www.papertoys.com is a cool and wacky site that lets you print out foldable models of all sorts of things, many of which would be just GREAT for placecards! Did you meet in London? How about Big Ben? Car freaks? How about an Alfa Romeo? Teachers? There’s a school bus. They will even custom design a paper toy just for you.
I had the pleasure of officiating at a very cool intimate wedding on Saturday, and we had no music arranged for the processional. I offered to bring a few of my “wedding music” cd’s which I discovered I had lent to a colleague. Searching through my CD’s, I found the soundtrack from, “Angels in America” which has some beautiful, lilting music; lovely for a walk down the aisle to a different drummer. Cuts 2,4, and 28 on would be my choices; just long enough for the bride to arrive and join the groom.
Whether you’re going to pick your own vows, write your own vows or repeat the vows your officiant has chosen, make sure they are vows you agree with! The biggest offender might be “obey”, but there can be other problematic words as well. The vows are probably the most important part of the ceremony, and they should really reflect your hopes and ideals for your married relationship.
Creativity, in all its many forms, is inspiring, renewing, relaxing, and just plain fun. Welcome to the Church of Craft, a nation wide organization that hosts terrific workshops (Easter eggs anyone?), has great online articles, (”Home Canning: Make yer own damn jam”), and completely dismantles the traditional concept of what “church” should be.
Reverand Callie Janoff writes, “Making things is our spritual practice”, (from her sermon, “Simple and Captivating). Indeed, there is no better way to connect with the universe (and our fellow humans) than by making stuff.
Their fascinating website suggests, “The Church of Craft aims to create an environment where any and all acts of making have value to our humanness. When we find moments of creation in our everyday activities, we also find simple satisfaction. The power of creating gives us the confidence to live our lives with all the love we can. By promoting creativity, we offer access to a non-denominational spiritual practice that is self-determined and proactive.
The Church of Craft maintains no dogma or doctrine beyond what every member believes for themselves.”
Check out their website at www.churchofcraft.org, and then grab those knitting needles! (or torch, or clay, or cookie dough……..)
Perhaps nothing is more romantic and evocative than a wedding on the beach; ah; the sun, surf, beautiful vistas. Even in a light drizzle, the scene is idyllic.
HOWEVER, here are a few words of wisdom from me, “Worst Case Scenario Woman”.
Let people know that the ceremony is going to actually BE on the sand; this way they can plan. (You can work that caveat into the invitation wording.) A big basket of flipflops in your wedding colors at the entrance to your ceremony site is a thoughtful and practical touch. (Imprinted flip flops make great favors too.) If rain looks impending, a basket of big umbrellas couldn’t hurt either; your reception site might even have some to lend you.
Let your officiant and musicians that you will BE on the sand; they will need to provide cordless amplification for your service and ceremony music; crashing surf is a loud partner in the day, make sure they are prepared for that. Their music and words should reflect the very obvious fact that your on the ocean, and why that is meaningful to you.
Plan your apparel and footwear (or lack there of) so you’re comfortable and steady on your feet. Consider wind when you’re planning your hair.
Arrange for an archway, some torches, plants, driftwood or other props to mark your ceremony space, but skip the runner; you’ll just get stuck in it. A viable alternative to an aisle runner might be a trail of flower petals, a walkway marked by shells or driftwood, of luminaries (if it’s not too windy).
If it’s manageable, have your guests toast you on the beach, at the end of the ceremony; barefoot servers can march down to the shore and pass champagne (or your signature drink; I like something turquoise in this case….) to your guests to give your reception a sparkling start.
Consider a date in the off season; May or October, for instance, at the Jersey shore. Your guests will have an easier time travelling to the location; you’ll spend less on just about everything, including accommodations, and the competing crowds will be leaner.
Make sure your officiant knows exactly what town your beach location is in; moving 15 feet in one or another direction can put you in another town, which is important when the license is filed.
And lastly; take a moment, before or after the ceremony; maybe in the middle of the reception, or when everyone has gone to bed, to walk by the water and reflect on the exciting and transformed life ahead of you.
Okay, SOMEONE at your wedding should have a cell phone on at all times; Aunt Mazie may get lost, your officiant may be a little late (not that this would happen to me….), your wedding cake person may have the wrong address. BUT that being said, your guests, as they are escorted in, should be reminded to turn their phones off. Have your ushers or the banquet manager remind them as the arrive. Do not have your officiant or minister announce this from the ceremony space; it ruins the ceremonial space and trivializes the importance of what will happen there.
Or May or June or July showers…….let’s face it, they can happen at any time. If you’re planning your ceremony or reception outside, you need to think a realistic and workable “plan B”. That could be as simple as a fleet of golf umbrellas to ferry your guests from their cars into the ceremony site. It could be as complicated as intricate tenting and walkways through the garden or outside venue that you’ve picked. The important thing is that those plans are in place so you are not worried.
One of the most magnificent ceremonies that I had the honor of officiating took place in, well, a monsoon. The country club was gracious in moving the ceremony inside, and we went forth during thunder, lightening and sideways rain.
As the couple was kissing, I looked at the ending benediction for their service, which was the lovely, “Apache Wedding Prayer”. Well, the first line of that prayer is, “Now there shall be no rain”. As I recited those words, the guests went nuts; clapping and cheering! Every wedding should end like that!
