What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

California has lifted the ban on same sex weddings, which is a wonderful benchmark that more states should imitate. I am very proud that New Jersey had made civil unions legal for years; we have a little more work to do, but at least some of the protections and privileges granted to “traditional” couples are now in place for same sex couples.

No one has the right to vote on a couple’s marriage; not relatives, not strangers. Marriage is between two people and their chosen community. And that’s all I have to say about that. Well, not ALL…..

Today, I had the great joy to officiate at a lovely and intimate wedding held at this amazing venue, the Reeves-Reed Arboretum, in Summit New Jersey. The gardens are incredible, and the staff couldn’t be more accommodating. We did NOT have a sunny day, but in many ways, the evocative atmosphere created by the rain was even more romantic. My cool couple posed in the antique house on the grounds, venturing out to the patio for some shots against the lush backdrop of lilacs and irises.

The Arboretum has a full calendar of special events planned, so I encourage you to check out their website and see what’s up there, and maybe think about volunteering. You might just find a home where your talents and interests will be appreciated and celebrated~!

We’re still the same blog, with an articulate and wide ranging array of topics, but we want to be more efficiently optimized so we’ve changed the name of the blog. And created another one, “what a great New York wedding” (geez, am I clever or WHAT??) so that those of you who live in New York don’t feel left out.

Google rules, what can I say! I hope you’ll visit our new website!

Placecards are good and evil. They help prevent chaos at a sit down or formal affair. They let people know where to go, which is a real plus with a larger crowd. HOWEVER, any couple will tell you that fitting your guests into tables is not the easiest thing in the world, and there will ALWAYS be some little problem that day.

One way to herd the cats is to name your tables after the groups of people you’ve invited; “Rhode Island School of Design-ers”, or “Yankee Fans”. Another is to name your tables after special places or moments in your relationship and the people that shared them with you; “Cozumel 2008″ , “Graduation 2006″, and use photos to mark the tables and the placecards.

One of my brilliant brides had a different single floral arrangement on each table and named her tables after them; Cape Cod Blue (with pansies), Sunflower yellow…etc.

There are so many creative ways to name tables and direct traffic that “Table 1″ just doesn’t seem like an option!

A little tiny basket of great stuff is a wonderful way to welcome your out of town guests. Many companies, like www.angelsdreamgifts.com, can make beautiful gifts that will make your guests feel especially cherished.

It’s great to have your basket relate to your venue, your state or your wedding theme. Are you on a ranch, like Laura Bush? Maybe some down home treats. New Jersey? Too many jokes to go there. A big city? Subway tokens, a map, mace. Just kidding. In any and all cases, a list of local attractions, cool and inexpensive quirky restaurants and contact numbers for the hotel,ceremony venue, and reception site. Your gracious hospitality will be appreciated

The cover story in the New York Times Magazine, on April 27th, was a story titled, “Young Gay Rights”. It examined the reasons that gay men in their 20′s seem to be getting married at a prodigious rate. I loved the story, but I hated the photos. This is the letter that I wrote to them, which is published in this weeks magazine section.

“Dear Editors,
I enjoyed Denizet-Lewis’, Young Gay Rites in the magazine of April 27th. The author crafted a lively and sympathetic read, chronicling the path to marriage and beyond; a path that is not so different for any couples of any sexual combination . But why the colorized, exaggerated photos, mimicking the most cliché and self conscious of coupled moments? Why pose Marc and Vasssili in tuxedos when they specifically stated that they will sidestep all the trappings associated with “traditional” weddings? Besides the uncomfortable nod to the fifties, (an era that was not especially welcoming to gays and lesbians), it insinuates that gay couples are somehow “play acting” at being married. As a civil Celebrant, who has had the great joy to preside over many gay unions in New Jersey, I’m insulted by the way these couples were depicted, at least visually. Any couple taking the momentous step of becoming legally married deserved to be spared mockery in the name of editorial shock value.”

They cut out the last sentence, which I felt was vital. As a civil celebrant, I feel very, very strongly about the civil rights that have been granted, (at least partially) in New Jersey. I’m proud that my state has taken that step, and hope that more will make the moves to guarantee the fundamental freedom to marry the person that one loves.

Yes. It might. It is today, for Paula and Cesar’s wedding, but they planned ahead, and so should you. If your ceremony is taking place outside, in a garden, in a courtyard, anywhere without a roof; Plan B should be firmly in place. In some cases, it means moving from your restaurant’s outside grotto to its gracious ballroom. In other cases it might mean renting a tent to cover the space,AND the pathway TO the space. In NO cases should it mean many people with umbrellas, the banquet manager holding a golf umbrella over the couple (even if it IS a monogrammed one…) and the New Jersey Wedding Officiant (smooth, eh?) hearing her PA system start to crackle in the downpour.

There are many, many things about your wedding day that are out of your control, and rain is one of them, but a good scheme is your best idea~

One of my associates, Kelly Powers, was part of this illustrious group of runners who collectively raised over 40,000 bucks for research to eradicate women’s cancers. (Kelly is on the right, on the top layer of runners!) Last Saturday, she ran with the Linens and Things team, and the company supports it’s team with matching funds.

To date, theEIF Revlon Run/Walk has raised over 50 million dollars for this cause; that is a LOT of dollars. Congratulations to Kelly and all her colleagues!

You can get more info (and maybe register to run next May!) at www.revlonrunwalk.com.

The Bronx and Staten Island too!!!! (Actually, this is the beautiful Brooklyn Bridge) As of 12:47 PM today, I’m legally registered as a New York City wedding officiant,(smooth, eh?), and can perform weddings on the George Washington Bridge, in Central Park, at Zabars, or just about any other place you might have in mind. I’m very excited, and I have to thank one of my cool couples, Gina and Charles for inspiring me to get registered. So Thanks!

If you are getting married in May or June, by your New Jersey Wedding Officiant (smooth, eh?), you should be thinking about getting your license. It’s not a big deal, really, but there are some things you need to bring.

1. Each other
2. A check
3. Photo Id
4. Proof of residence
5. A witness, over the age of 18 who knows you
6. Many towns are now requiring that you have a New Jersey Wedding Officiant (darn it, I am SO SMOOTH!!!) in place and they will want you to have that information as well.

This is all very painless, but you need to think ahead; in New Jersey, you can apply a month ahead, but at least three days before the ceremony ….In New York, there is a one day waiting period.

And, um, don’t forget to bring it to the wedding……..