Probably not!  Who doesn’t love it? Dark, milk, white, chili infused, melted, with nuts, without nuts…YUMMMMMMMMMMMM~  It is just the best, and it has scientifically proved benefits for our hearts, minds and souls. Just keep those chocolaty finger prints off the wedding gown okay? 

There are so many many ways to add a chocolate kiss to your wedding day; of course, you can give your guests a little favor to take home, you CAN have an all chocolate wedding cake (hey, it’s your cake, right?), you can serve hot chocolate as people arrive at your winter wedding, you can serve espresso with chocolate spoons at the reception.

But what if you want to start the chocolate wave BEFORE the reception? 

I’m glad you asked, because it gives me a chance to virtually introduce you to Conrad, the chocolate sommilier, and his company, Chocolate Earth .  Quite simply, Conrad is the chocolate guru. He has conducted tastings, walking tours and classes all over the metropolitan area, enlightening the clueless to the nuances of our favorite sweet. What if that perfect melting jewel of deep, rich….ooops…I digress.  Chocolate does that to me.

But wouldn’t a chocolate tasting be the perfect bridal shower?  Forget the paper plate hats with ribbons; forget the chicken salad and scary punch!  Contact Conrad instead and have a stylish, delicious, ooey, gooey, yummy  YIKES THERE I GO AGAIN!

Contact Conrad. You’ll have fun. I know it.

Including a traditional Celtic hand fasting   ritual can be a meaningful and visually stunning element in your New Jersey wedding ceremony.  I love it because it compliments the somewhat “formal” nature of your wedding vows with a heartfelt promise that is more common law in feeling. The contrast is beautiful and moving.  It is also a wonderful way to include children, parents, or other special people that may not be included in the traditional bridal party.

The script  below is one that I have written. It is flexible; it can be expanded or edited to include as many participants as you wish. The cord colors can be chosen to reflect the qualities of your relationship; peace and tranquility, passion and love, protection and care, renewal and growth.  For my couples, I make a set of cords that include shells, beads,and keepsakes if they’d like. It is a simple ritual that speaks eloquently of the aspects and emotions that make a marriage strong.

Jasmine and John have chosen a traditional hand fasting ceremony. In Europe, until the mid 1700’s, few unions were sanctified in a church or synagogue. Rather, they were celebrated by a simple hand fasting ceremony in which the two partners joined hands over the village anvil, in the fields or in the groves of trees. Today, we build upon this tradition, and while we don’t have  the village anvil, we do have this beautiful lake and our very own grove of trees.

Jasmine  and John, please hold hands, right hand to right hand, left hand to left hand.

When you found each other, an ancient circle was closed. You have become Anam Cara for each other. Anam Cara translated from Irish means soul friend. Your Anam Cara is the person who  supports and challenges you,  who brings you to your full potential, who brings you joy.

  Notice as you hold hands that your arms form a figure 8. Let this be a symbol of the eternal promise  that is brought into the light by the presence of your Anam Cara.

  Notice too, that the unity of the figure 8 holds within it two distinct circles. Let this remind us that even as you are bound together, you are two separate and unique individuals.

It is one of the mysteries of love, that in the eternal circle of belonging you can find freedom.

May your love be the wellspring that nourishes you, refreshes you and reveals to you your inner most nature.   The green cord of renewal is draped.

May the warmth, generosity and creativity of your love touch everyone in your life. The red cord, the cord  of possibility, the red cord of  inevitable togetherness and boundless passion, is draped.

May you learn from each other and grow in ways you’ve never dreamed. The yellow cord, the cord of wisdom and creativity, is draped.

May you surround yourself with history and future, and always be open to the surprises of tomorrow, even as you remember yesterday with fondness.  The purple cord, the cord of magic and mystery is draped.

May you always be ready for adventure, and may returning home be the best part of your journey.  The white cord of peace and purity is draped.

I have the pleasure of draping the final cord tonight.  It is the gold cord of intimate richness. May you value your relationship and realize that it is a priceless gift to be nurtured and treasured.  The gold cord is draped.

This is the final cord of Handfasting.  It will connect Jasmine and John  together with bonds of love. For such bonds to be strong, they need support – not only from the couple themselves, but from you; their loving and supportive community of family and friends. As I  bind their hands together with the four cords, please  let your thoughts focus on the loving strength you bring to their union.  The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows.  May these promises shape your every day together, as long as you shall live.

Celebrant ties the cords.  “And the binding has been made”.

With the entwining of this knot I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness w to your lives for as long as love shall last.  As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound.  Woven into this cord, into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together.

I know that so many of my couples and vendor-friends are animal lovers, and I wanted to write about this amazing non profit organization; maybe you’ll put a dog bowl on your cocktail reception bar and raise a buck or two for them!  I had the chance to speak about them recently, at my home church’s “Blessing of the Animals” celebration, which always takes place in October.

The group is called, “Puppies Behind Bars“, and they place puppies, well, behind bars. There is no way that I can say this better than they do, so I am going to steal the rest of this post right from them.  I hope you’ll go to their website and learn more about them, watch the video (I’m warning you; stock up on the tissues, because it will make you cry buckets full of joyful tears…) and maybe forgo buying those weird wedding favors to donate to them instead.  One of my cool, cool, couples had a big pink pawprint shaped card at each place setting, stating that they’d made a donation!   Your wedding can  change not only your lives, but the lives of many!

A New Leash on Life
How We Got Started

Dear Friends, 

When I started Puppies Behind Bars (PBB) in 1997, I knew, without question, that the inmates we chose to be in our program would love our dogs tremendously. I knew, without question, that our dogs would end up being some of the best working dogs in the world. I knew, without question, that I would make mistakes — I hoped I would learn from them — and I knew, also without question, that Puppies Behind Bars would be a rigorous experience for the inmates involved, one which, I hoped, would help prepare them for life on the outside.

The one thing I did not know – or, at the least, seriously underestimated – was how many lives one single puppy would affect. I knew that each and every puppy would affect the life of the inmate charged with being its primary caretaker; I did not foresee that each and every puppy would make an indelible impact on prison staff, on all the inmates in a correctional facility, and on our volunteers.

Our puppies arrive in prison when they are eight weeks old and they live there until they are anywhere from twelve to twenty months of age. If they are being trained to be “explosive detection canines” , they tend to leave when they turn one year of age; if they are in training to become service dogs for the disabled, they stay with us until they are almost two years old.

Regardless of length of time with us, however, the impact the puppies have is profound – and once they leave us, the bonds with their new human partners grow even stronger. If they are working, on a daily basis, with a law enforcement agent to sniff office buildings, federal courthouses, tourist attractions, or jetliners bound for the United States from abroad, they are looked upon as part of a team, a team in which everyone knows that the dog will keep his partner safe. (I cannot imagine the bond that develops when you go to work with your pooch every day and every day he or she makes decisions that are, literally, lifesaving.)

If our dogs go to disabled children or adults, the bond is also difficult to grasp: in these cases it is not only that the dog becomes the disabled person’s arms and legs, it also becomes their means of fitting in; their means of people wanting to approach them, not avoid them; their means of feeling a part of society instead of apart from it.

And if you are a veteran returning from Iraq or Afghanistan and are part of our newest initiative, dubbed “Dog Tags: Service Dogs for Those Who’ve Served Us”, your Puppies Behind Bars dog is what allows you to go out in the world again, with confidence. It allows you to stand in a grocery store line without fear because you know that someone (your dog) is “watching my back.” It allows you to bond with your children and spouse because the dog, when it is not working, is a family pet who brings joy and a common theme into the house; it allows you to begin to heal because you know that fellow Americans truly appreciate your service to our country.

Years ago an inmate said to me, referring to his puppy, “He makes me feel human again.” I think many of us feel that way. There is nothing like a dog’s love, devotion, and companionship to help you get through the day. For the recipients of our dogs, this is truer than we can imagine.

Wow! I often (no, make that daily) will say out loud, in print, and in my head, that I have the best job on the planet!   My clients are among the most creative, inspiring, out of the box thinkers I’ve ever met, and my Halloween couple was no exception.

They chose a beautiful little historic venue in Princeton, and their drop dead affair was put together by caterer extraordinaire, Dawn, from Main Street Catering. When I arrived, her staff was busy putting the finishing touches on the luxuriously set tables, lighting about a million votive candles, and taking care of every small detail that made this party so unique.

The scent of hot spiced cider greeted the guests as they entered into the estate. They were greeted by a walkway of carved pumpkins, abundant displays of seasonal gourds and flowers, and retrospective photos of the bride and groom’s family.  Fireplaces were festooned with flowers and more photos, and stylish music filled the air.

Entering the tent, they were greeted by a monogrammed aisle runner, strewn with the deep red roses that were used throughout the ceremony and reception. The sunset view of the lake was enhanced by towering silver candelabras, dripping with white hydrangeas and more red roses.  On each seat was the program for the evening; a sophisticated masquerade mask that served as the program.

The ceremony was stylish and personal, as are the couple. It brought out both the humor and the gravity in their relationship, but they chose to weave in seasonal references as well. They were reminded that, “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have ever seen  (Foucault).  When I pronounced them husband and wife, I asked them to, “Make me immortal with a kiss!” (Christopher Marlowe).   Even their music was keyed to the season; they processed to Bach’s, “Toccata and Fugue”,  and left to Orff’s, Carmina Burana. Pieces from Weber’s score for “Phantom” accented the ceremony.

As the guests made their way to the cocktail tent,  each holding a candle that was lit from the couple’s unity candle, they were greeted with gilded  goblets of a scarlet signature drink (no recipes here; you have to talk to Dawn for that!), and giant projection screens showing “The Phantom of the Opera“.

It was an incredible night befitting an extraordinary couple. Happy ever (and ever, and beyond!!!) after to you both!