What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

One of the elements that will truly make your ceremony a unique gift for your family and friends is the inclusion of wonderful readings. Of course, there is always, “Love is not icky, weird or obnoxious”, from Paul’s other letter to the Corinthians (not many people realize that Paul had a real grumpy side, but that’s another post for another blog…), and that e e cummings thing about carrying your heart somewhere….yawn.

Okay, okay, they’re all appropriate and fine for a typical wedding, but for you?  No, no….you need something more interesting than that.  You aren’t dull and predictable: why should your readings be dull and predictable?  They  shouldn’t, and I’m here to help.

Now, I always trust the universe to hand me absolutely perfect stuff when I most need it; those crocuses and lilacs out there; fresh mozzarella with pesto, and not too long ago, the serendipitous gift of a wonderful love poem by poet/teacher/mentor/performer/ Golden Ears Award winner (and what a great award to get!!)  Taylor Mali.  Shari and Harry, my very cool couple who got married at West Point (pix to follow!) included this poem in their ceremony, then the next day (no, I am not kidding), another one of my cool couples asked me about it.   I traced it back to Taylor, I was delighted to read all about him and his mission to bring poetry where it has never gone before, and back to the places that it has.  Taylor,  the energetic  teacher and artist, is far too big to capture here and I couldn’t even do him justice, but you’ll want to go to his site and enjoy learning about him.

But to make it easy, and to tease you a bit, here is the wonderful poem in question.  I will have the distinct pleasure of reading it again with a trio of eight year old ring bearers at a wedding this weekend, at a wedding of two teachers!  Could life be any better?  I doubt it!

Falling in love is like owning a dog
an epithalamion by Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

First of all, it’s a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you’re walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain’t no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don’t you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you’re all wound up and can’t move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Fantastic! So true, and so simple.

And okay, I needed to put in a little plug and pix for my favorite charity, Puppies Behind Bars; they will be featured on Oprah on May 6th!  YEAH!!!!!!!  If you don’t know about this wonderful organization, you should! They place puppies with prison inmates in the New York area, who lovingly train them to be service dogs.   It is an amazing program, and Annie, who runs it deserves all our support and as many dollars as we can spare.  Thank you Annie and Taylor!

To an amazing start of wedding season!  I hardly know where to begin, my couples this weekend were so creative, so personal, and so exciting! In every  NJ wedding ceremony I have the luck to perform, I say that I have the best “job” on the planet, and on this particular monday morning, that rings as true as possible.

On Friday, I had a chance to actually watch  a ceremony before I got to perform a ceremony.  May and Michael,  are both dynamic and creative individuals who are very involved in the music industry,  so it was certainly no surprise that their wedding was deeply personal and full of the style that marks their life together.

They started their day of celebration with a traditional Thai Water Ceremony. (No, this is not them!)

The R & B group, “Ahmir”  seranaded the couple down the aisle; since Michael is their manager, this was a perfect way to begin the ceremony.  I spoke about the their long, interesting history together, and after they took their vows and exchanged rings, they participated in a Sushi Sharing Ceremony!

As May and Michael fed each other, I talked about rice being the staff of life, representing the sustanance that a great partnership provides.  I talked about the wasabi; with the spiciness that evolves into a passionate burn!  Fish, the bouty of the earth; sesame seeds that represent many children, and the soy sauce, which reminds us that life is often sweet and salty at the same time.

Here come the brides! and grooms! Today is the first day that neo traditional marriages can be performed in Iowa!!!  So thank you to the powers that be in Iowa, and  best wishes to all the couples celebrating today. We all celebrate with you, and take hope that this beacon of justice enlightens and informs every state in this great nation.

Just kidding, but it’s also  pretty cool to be chosen as one of “Project Wedding“’s top wedding professionals for 2008. The ratings are based on the kind words of the couples that I have worked with, and really reflect the experience of working together. 

 If you haven’t visited the site yet, you might want to do that right now! You can find any professional you need, (including me) with lots of bridal couples’ reviews, helpful tips on planning, and a forum to discuss everything from engagement rings to wedding ceremonies to honeymoons.  There are ideas for green weddings and showers, and all sorts of ideas to personalize your wedding day.  You can also set up your own personal wedding website to keep everyone informed about your celebration. And, it’s just fun!

what a totally adorable idea for a wedding favor! One of my brilliant clients put together tiny gift bags that included a Chinese paper take-out container (that was rubber stamped with the couple’s monogram) filled with Cheerios for two, a tiny bottle of milk, a little mini size banana, and plastic silverware that matched the bag color (their wedding colors of course…)

trying to put a colors scheme together for your wedding? thinking that aqua and brown will be over by next year?  hate pink?  hate all white?  Head right to Home Depot and stock up on color chips in the paint department. Shuffle them around and pair them up till you find the perfect combo!  Personally, I’m loving Martha Stewart’s “Green Pressed Glass” and Ralph Lauren’s ”Nobleman” for fall .  And when you pick your combo, you can make the samples into these adorable bookmarks or luggage tags! 

I want to be the first to congratulate Carrie Prejean, Miss California, for giving us a graphic demonstration of why the Miss America Pagent should be put out of it’s misery and ours.  Where to start; I hardly know…..swimsuits designed by legenday fashion talent Jessica Simpson (choke);  a blog post by another contestant about what a “hoot” it was to visit Guantanamo Bay; what a relief to find out that the tiara is made out of cruelty free diamonds…..We can only be thankful that unlike the rival “Miss America” pagent, the contestants are not required to perform a talent.

May we never go backwards in our collective struggling to assure the civil rights of all people.

I can’t tell you everything yet, but we’re up to something big here at the international headquarters (aka; the teeny tiny home office).  My incredibly cool and creative clients have given me so many ideas for interesting and innovative ceremony elements that we are creating a shiny brand new blog just for that!   You are going to find all sorts of interesting ideas to make your ceremony inspiring and personal; to include the words, visuals and music that will make your union exciting and memorable.

An anonymous author wrote, “The best way to predict the future is to invent it!”  Together, we’ll get curious about what we might invent together.  I’ll keep ya posted; blog posted!  (and is this monkey tape measure about the coolest favor ever?

Not everything, but “it” whatever it is. For me, the “it” is my gym membership at retro fitness, an ultra affordable gym and a bottle of decent champagne ( not at the same time, though that would probably make it more fun…)  I can live without another black sweater, and my yearly trip to the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, but certain things, even in this economy have to stay put for my happiness, my balance and my sanity.  And for you too. There will be something for your wedding that will make it the perfect day for you, and some things that really will not make any difference; the challenge is to know the difference.

Of course, I’m opinionated; I think that a beautiful, meaningful (and that meaning could be humor, goth the Yankees…) New Jersey wedding ceremony is an generally so affordable that you should have the person or ceremony venue that you truly want. Your ceremony is the reason for the celebration, not just a velvet rope to a party, and as a line item for your overall budget, it is truly an “affordable splurge”.

Maybe you have fallen in love with a reception site that is a little too expensive (or a lot too expensive…) Consider an hors d’oeuvres reception (that’s the most fun part anyway, isn’t it?), or an off time of year or day, (I did a LOT of Thursday night weddings last year!). 

Maybe the most important part of your wedding day is surrounding yourself with your wide circle of friends and family; then bump up the guest list and look for a less expensive place to celebrate.

Maybe you’ve always dreamed of getting married at home; having an 11 piece swing band; including 10 bridesmaids and groomsmen; arriving in a white Rolls Royce. You can still have those dreams; maybe just not all of them at once.  It’s all about choices and thinking in a creative way.

So have that conversation; decide on the things you HAVE to have, and think outside the box about the things that you can’t.  Everyone is going to have a wonderful time, and no one will know what you DIDN”T choose….

Actually, not just the wings; the whole dove and lots of them.  What could be more appropriate as a send-off at the end of your New Jersey wedding ceremony? These graceful  white doves are the perfect symbol of love; they are one of the few animals that choose a mate forever; they are together for life. They symbolize love, peace, fidelity and prosperity; to see a dove on your wedding day guarantees you good luck!

Rick, from Love Doves can take care of all the details for you; he and his crew travel to New York, Long Island and New Jersey, bringing these beauties to your ceremony. 

The day of the event, a trained and experienced release coordinator will arrive at your event dressed appropriately for the occasion and on time - one hour before the release. Guests can admire a beautifully decorated basket of pure white doves as they arrive. The doves will be released on cue, so your photographer and video team can be filmed and remembered. (One of my couples used the photos as their thank you note, and I suggested that they might also think about using the photo as a holiday card.

This is a breathtaking and meaningful gesture to mark the end of your wedding ceremony and the beginning of your life as loving partners.