What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

One of the coolest guest book ideas that I have ever seen was put together by my cool couple, Michael and Michele, who had their amazing celebration at the Chauncey Conference Center, in Princeton. As their guests entered the garden, they were greeted by a welcome table just overflowing with fun stuff! They had a Polaroid camera for guests to take photos of each other, and then a photo album/guest book that they could slip those photos into. Michele had provided an array of markers, stickers and other embellishments so each guest could really personalize their message to the couple!  And a neat bonus?  You can really take your own photo, so the guests got to mingle and get to know each other.  Just fun on all levels! 

 Many of my cool couples include children in their New Jersey wedding ceremony as flower girls, ring bearers, or ushers.  I love it!  No wedding ceremony should be perfect; it’s just no fun that way! The sponteneity and joy that kids add to the ceremony really underscore the importance of family and bring home the notion that life is full of surprises.  That being said, there are ways to make sure that the littlest members of your wedding party are happy, comfortable and cooperative! 

Let them practice what they are going to be doing; scattering petals, offering the ring pillow (which will not have the “real” rings on it, please…), walking the ring bearer dog.   Even if you are not planning a formal rehearsal, make time for the children to get used to the ceremony space before you start.

Make sure they really want to be part of the ceremony; it can be a really scary experience.  If they are really nervous about “performing” in front of so many people, pair them up with other children they know or an adult that will make them feel comfortable.

 If you have really young  children in your bridal party, be prepared for the possibility that they will not have the attention span to be dignified and motionless for the ceremony. Block off a few seats in the front row, and let their parents (who should also be sitting in the front row…) know that if they get antsy, they can simply come over and sit down. You might even put an age appropriate toy on their seats which will do double duty at the reception. Now, if YOU get antsy during the ceremony, well, that’s a totally different story…….  (Thank you to dresseschat for these cuties!)

Stress? What stress? Oh…wedding stress?  That little thing?  Well, as you get busier and busier with details and appointments, you may be tempted to cut back on your gym time, but resist that urge.  You go girl! And bring your partner with you! There are so many reasons to keep your workout habit in place.

Obviously, you want to look the best you can at your wedding, and being toned and flexible is key to that.  A non-negotiable workout gives you a chunk of time to reflect, to connect with your body, and to be away from all the pressures of planning.  If you bring your partner with you, you can actually consider your workout together a “date”; a time to bond without discussing cakes, rings, wedding songs, or entrees. You can have a conversation, just like you used to do!

Belonging to a club is probably the most motivating way to go; I go to Retro Fitness, which is well equipped, spotless, and cheap. You may choose to work out at home, or connect with a personal trainer, like James, from Volt in Glen Rock. But what ever you do, do something; it’s a habit that will keep you healthier and happier in good times and bad, sickness and health, blah blah blah…….

(And research shows that couples who work out together have better sex! Yikes!  I’m lacing up those sneakers NOW!)

Yes, Fred and Ginger, you shall, if you choose the Garden Vista as your reception site! This might be the best kept secred in North Jersey, but I’m sure that is not going to last long. Jim Robbins has restored this glorious 20’s building back to its original glory and this gracious lady is the perfect place for your stylish city wedding (without all the hassle of going to Manhattan…)

The beautiful details include vaulted ceilings, crystal chandeliers, and a marble lobby that seems to go on forever. I see it as the backdrop for a sophisticted champagne and hors d’oeuvres reception, or maybe a “speakeasy” theme; how cool would that be for a  halloween wedding? Perfect.  Maybe just a wild selection of desserts and cocktails.  (And incidentally, all of those “alternative menus” are great ways to keep your budget in check without anyone being the wiser!  Put my friends Smokin Section in place for some rousing dance music, and you have a all the elements you need for a stomping celebration!

So start making a list of your 150 nearest and dearest and go look at this venue!

Smokin’ Section, that is,one of the most exciting, professional and experienced bands you could choose. Everyone knows that the soundtrack to the wedding celebration is one of the most important elements of a really great party. We’ve all been to weddings that just didn’t work. Maybe we can’t figure out why, but we know it’s just wrong. The bride is introduced to the theme from “Rocky”…..great dance music happens…..during the salad course.  And it all ends with the bridesmaids singing along to that Meatloaf song…..ewwwww… You have put so much thought into you every detail of your wedding; it’s way too important sound like a frat party, and no; your friend from work toting an IPOD is not a good substitute for actual  music.

Great music that is well chosen and masterfully played can make all the difference between a party that unfolds gracefully and builds to a joyous pinnacle ora confusing, awkward block of time and sound.  I had the pleasure of spending a few minutes with Mike Kaplan, co-leader and saxaphonist for  the“Smokin’ Section”, and he gave me some insight into the things you should consider when you start to think about booking your music.

If you really enjoy music, you’ll immediately recognize the difference live music (as opposed to dead music….) will make at your celebration.   From the first note until the last applause,  a really good band will intuitively  play exactly what is needed at the right time, depending on what is appropriate for the different moments of the party. They’ll make sure that your ceremony is introduced with graceful processional selections that are perfectly coordinated with your attendants’ entrance. (While I love a good Pachelbel Canon as much as everyone else, and perhaps no other selection  is as recognizable shorthand for “the bride is here!, there are many other pieces that are just as appropriate.) You’ll recess  to an upbeat selection (how about the Beatles, “Gotta Get You Into My Life?  Stevie Wonder’s “Overjoyed”?) and enter your reception to music that is exciting and personal , not corny and cliche. 

And from the minute you enter your reception,  your musicians will be  at the controls!  They’ll keep a constant monitor on the tone of your party and play the tunes that will have everyone on the dancefloor  (or everyone relaxing over dinner).  A good bandleader (or two, like Mike and Pete) will be able to really read your guests and play exactly the right songs at the right times. And while no one may realize why your reception feels so perfect, the soundtrack will be the reason; a soundtrack that is created, tweaked and produced as the night unfolds.

Mike gave me so much great information about wedding music that I’ll need to sprinkle it over several other posts, (people who are seriously good about what they do can bring up details and ideas that seem teeny tiny to us outsiders, but they are the details that make all the difference).  But here are some bullet point tips to keep in mind as you search for bands.

-Make sure their song list is extensive. Your wedding will, no doubt, have a crowd that spans all ages and tastes, and there should be music that appeals to everyone.   An “all reggae” wedding  is better in theory than in reality….

-Check their references. Duh. Did they show up on time?  Did they remember your special requests? Did they look and sound like professionals?

-Hear them or watch videos of them performing at actual events. If you can see them at an event, do it.

-Make sure you have a good rapport with the leader or person you will be working with. Once you meet someone you trust, listen to their advice.

-Go over all the details about specific songs for the ceremony and introduction, and the timing for each, but give your band the leeway to do the best job they can.

And then, kick off the stilettos and enjoy!

The Chauncey Conference Center calls itself, “The Best Kept Secret in Princeton”, and they could be absolutely right!  I had the honor of performing a beautiful, funny wedding on their gracious grounds a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t wait to write about them. Located just minutes from Princeton, and midway between Philadelphia and New York City, this little gem the perfect place to have a wedding! 

A gracious tree-lined drive leads your guest to a relaxing, 400 acre retreat framed by woodlands and dotted with ponds and walking paths.

The conference center accomodate all your guests, the bridal couple, who will have the Laurie House as their personal B and B.  This little gem was a hunt club, but has been turned into a cozy retreat with seven guest rooms, living  and dining areas, and a patio of its very own.

Michael and Michele,  had their choice of an array of backdrops for their photos (by David Myles; more about him later; he just rocked!)  and then made their way down to the  water’s edge, under the magnificent shade trees for their New Jersey wedding ceremony. (You knew I couldn’t resist….)

 And what a wedding it was!  M and M are such creative and funny people that it was really a joy to work with them, and they deserve their own post (which is coming up soon!) But for now, I’ll give you the hilights; rhyming vows, handwritten by the couple; lollipop wedding rings, (their best man’s joke), Polaroid cameras for their guest to embellish and slip into an album, and as their recessional? “Nine in the Afternoon”, by Panic at the Disco!  (Don’t miss the video; it’ll give you PLENTY of ideas for the day!)

After the ceremony, the guests took a leisurely stroll to the reception, on the tented patio. Melissa and her amazing staff orchestrated a delicious and bountiful brunch to the strains of Louis Armstrong.  It was a beautiful start for a very cool couple!

I say, often and loudly, that I have the COOLEST couples on the nearby planets.  I had the distinct pleasure of marrying Michele and Michael this weekend, (more about that later, because it was a truly personal and very, very funny wedding; I felt very lucky to be there!

They are both creative and gifted writers, and part of their thank you note included this poem!  (I know, it’s self congratulatory, but it’s so funny!)

A Poem from Mike

You are the best officiant

A simple “Thank you” isn’t sufficient

Our ceremony was not deficient

So I’ll keep my words efficient!

THE END

Michele and Mike are off to Australia!, so I wish them an amazing and well deserved honeymoon, but more about that all later!

It’s the little things that can completely undo you on your wedding day; just for your personal serenity, consider packing these goodies in a tote and having them ready to go with you when you step into that limo (or Jeep, or Mustang or taxi!)

*Your wedding  license (sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised….)

* Nail polish: your color, your attendant’s colors, and and clear to fix stocking runs. Nail file for snaggies.  Maybe a Lee Press-on Nail or two….

* Extra stockings

* Flat white shoes or flip flops

* Anti-static cling spray, spot remover and white out for little spots

* Hairspray, bobby-pins, safety pins, pre loaded needle and thread in black, white and your bridesmaids’ dress color

* Antiperspirant, aspirin and hair spray

* Duplicate makeup

* Telephone list of everyone in the wedding party and all your vendors

* Small bills for unexpected tips and plain envelopes

* Bottled water, especiallly if it’s hot

* a CD of your first dance, just in case the DJ doesn’t have it.

* a copy of your ceremony and/or vows, if you are writing them.

When your planning an event as important and detail loaded as a wedding (and all the satellite parties that go with….) you need a go to source for the vendors and services you are looking for.  That go to source should be Elegala, a stylish and extensive website that can point you towards anything you need, from a New Jersey wedding officiant (you knew that was coming….) to a valet service. I love it because it really is eye candy; the design is easy to navigate, and visually exciting.

They have a myriad of printable checklists and budgets, thousands of great wedding ideas. There is a great blog, (the cool entry today was for a registry that specializes in vintage china!)  about a million photos of real weddings, and great advice about everything from green weddings to honeymoons. They have special sections for grooms and moms too! 

 You can also  order or read their fabulous wedding magazine, “Gala”, which is simply a beautiful and inspiring read. 

No matter how simple, casual,intimate your wedding is going to be, you need a
“go to” person. They will run interference between you and anyone who has a question (and everyone will have a question), pay your vendors, keep track of gifts, the wedding license, and generally make things more relaxed for you. They should have a cell phone on them (until the ceremony, of course), and all your vendors (photographers, caterers, New Jersey wedding officiant , limo drivers, etc), should have that number. Your person should have a list of the people who are supplying everything from the cake, (as in “where is it!!!!), to the ceremony music, (as in “where are they!!!), to the flowers, (as in, “who ordered the poodle shaped carnation centerpieces???). Their sole mission for the day is to keep everything under control and out of your hair.Communication is a beautiful thing…

I recommend a number of incredibly professional and savvy wedding planners and coordinators, and I’m happy to suggest a person that will be perfect for you.