What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

You’ll love these; they are irreverent, stylish and free. What could be bad?
www.someecards.com

Or a completely helpful website like Dress Up Your Wedding!  This is a sweet, simple directory for all the services you might need to find for your ceremony, reception or honeymoon. It is easy to search, offering a map for each category of vendors that you’ll be looking into. There are also helpful articles on many aspects of planning.  And (shock of shocks!) you can find your favorite New Jersey wedding officiant there, lol……you know I cant’ resist!

Everyone gearing up for a major event (especially one with LOADS of photos) wants to look their  best, and you are probably not an exception. According to a recent poll ( don’t ask me where, lol….) 85% of brides adopt a new training routine and diet to look better on their day. One of my gorgeous brides lost almost 60 pounds between the time we met and the time she walked down the aisle. For her, it was more than just a physical transformation, it was a serious boost to her self esteem and her emotional happiness.  What better way to start a new chapter in your life than by looking and feeling your very very best?

And me too!  I want to look better on your day, (but I get to wear black, which gives me an unfair advantage, photo wise…… )  So recently, I went back to an Atkins eating plan (along with screaming workouts at RetroFitness, my gym) because I know it works for me.  Everyone has their own plan, but lo-carb is mine.  I can have giant salads, giant steaks, beautiful grilled chicken skewers and all with a glass of wine or Champagne.  What’s not to love? 

One of my favorite sites for info and chat forums is Low Carb Eating, and they were kind enough to include some of my favorite tips among all the great ideas they listed for either returning to lo carbing or starting it from scratch. Many of the tips would work for what ever plan you decide to follow!  Of course, you should consult with your doctor or dietician before embarking on any serious diet and nutrician plan(This beautiful steak image is courtesy of My Recipes, which will give you all kinds of ideas!)

So go to the gym, grab a hunk of filet mignon or turkey breast, (and at least 8 big cold glasses of water a day…..) and watch what happens next! I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

Vows. Every wedding ceremony has to have them. I mean, every wedding ceremony HAS to have them!’  Emotionally AND legally.  Without them, it’s just a big expensive party with a giant cake.  And that realization makes many of my couples completely zone out when it comes to that blank piece of paper. But writing your vows should be as evocative and meaningful as actually saying them that day.  They are a true insight into your personalities, and they are the most poignant minutes of the entire day.

Every couple is different, and so are their vows. Some are short, some are long. Some are funny, some are serious; they might make you and your guests laugh; they will inevitably make you and your guests cry. The most important thing to remember is that your vows are your promises to your partner. They are words from the heart; words that express how you feel about your partner, and sometimes, the very real practical ways you’ll show how you feel.

The traditional vows may be something that you have always dreamed of as part of your ceremony, and they are appropriate as a centerpiece for any ceremony.

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Or you may opt for something that is sentimental, but not so recognizable.

I, (name), take you (name) to be my partner, my friend and my husband, to laugh loudly and to cry softly, to work and to play, to create a life together that cannot be imagined separately.  I vow to be your strength and your sanctuary, as long as we shall live.

Or something totally, totally funny, like my great couple Michael and Michelle, who wrote their vows in rhyme, detailing the “sacrifices” they would make for each other.  They had their guests in tears. Of laughter. (But then their best man also presented engagement shaped lollipops instead of the real rings, so you can get a sense of what THEIR wedding was like!!! Boy, did we have fun!)   

 Some of my couples write them, some of them steal them from all the great sources online, some of them use the vows that I’ve written, but the bottom line is very very simple. Your vows are the promises that have been evolving in your hearts and minds since the day you became a couple.

Writer Rachel Zupek was kind enough to include me in an article on MSN’s career builder site. The site itself is just wonderful; there are all kinds of fascinating articles, and great advice for anyone seeking a job or thinking about a career change. Check it out!  

My friend and colleague, Julie Laudicina, (a wonderful celebrant based in Staten Island), described a wonderful ceremony element that one of her cool couples included in their wedding service.  They were planning to read their own vows to each other (which we all advocate; memorizing them is crazy!) They also had several guest readers who were going to contribute to the celebration by reciting poems and readings that were meaningful to the couple.

 During their processional, they included not only a ring bearer and a flower girl, but also a “book bearer”.  They found a beautiful antique journal, and they hand wrote their vows and the readings on its pages. When it came time for the readers to perform, Julie handed them the book, and then the couple read their vows from the same book.  I can imagine that same book holding a copy of the ceremony and photos from the reception!  What an amazing, unique visual element to the ceremony, and a beautiful keepsake afterwards!

  Your marriage is a creation of a new family, but it is also a blending of the rich history that makes each family distinct.  Many of my couples have lost friends and family members and feel that they want to call them to mind during their ceremonies.

This should always be done with the utmost in sensitivity and grace. Very often I will include a moment of silence, introduced by a very short reading. My favorite is a quote from playwrite Welly Yang, from his play, “Finding Home”":

“We are all a culmination of the people that came before us, and we’re here to finish the dreams they left unfinished. ”
We include in our thoughts this evening, those who could not be here with us, and know that they are with us in spirit. Let us take a moment of silent meditation to remember them with fondness. We know they all rejoice with us.

This is usually followed by 20-30 seconds of silence.

Other couples have lit candles as they approached the ceremony space; left a seat open in the front row with a rose on it, or had photos at the reception. One of my grooms had his dad’s fishing hat on the greeting table, holding the fans that were the couple’s favors. Many of my brides have worn pieces of heirloom jewelry from their mothers or grandmothers, and I will usually mention those things in the context of the ceremony.

One of my couples included a sand ceremony, and included their grandmothers’ favorite vases as the vessels that held each of their individual sand.  The possibilities are endless, and don’t stop at the ceremony; your Aunt Mary’s famous cheese sticks might be the hit of the reception, (especially if your guests are told the history of the recipe), and what a wonderful way to celebrate the past and the future! 

Great care should be taken when including these memorial touches; if the loss is very recent or still very painful, this might not be an appropriate time to pay respects. This is something to discuss with your New Jersey wedding officiant, who can write a gracious and fitting tribute into your ceremony.

What a great resource So You’re Engayged will be for you! In addition so spotlighting amazing vendors, like you’re favorite New Jersey wedding officiant….(thank you so much!!!) The site is stylish, helpful, and just plain fun. There are loads of photos from real life weddings to give you ideas; legal updates, and a collection of bloggers that will inspire and inform you.  I’m sending them big giant hugs and thank you’s for their feature, below, and I’m hoping to blog about interesting ideas for vows and ceremony ritual elements. Sushi sharing anyone?

Featured, Featured Vendor Profiles, Officiant