What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

Probably not, ceremony wise. If you have chosen to use a New Jersey wedding officiant  (darnit, I’m smooth….), instead of having your ceremony in traditional religious setting, there is a very short list of the elements that actually HAVE to be included in your ceremony. Asking anyone if they object? Please now..if they are going to object, why are they invited?  “Love, Honor and Obey”?  Haven’t heard that “obey” part in QUITE some time, and the last bride who thought she wanted to include it, for tradition’s sake, hesitated just long enough before saying it that everyone in the crowd laughed.

All that you REALLY have to do is vow to do SOMETHING.  My couples who have written their own vows have done all kinds of things, from sign language to “Dr. Seuss” style rhyming verses, to songs, to the most minimal, but all encompassing promises ever.  One groom vowed to stop cheering for the Mets; one of my brides vowed to learn to cook a decent meal and stop hanging pantyhose on the shower rod.

And then your officiant has to pronounce you…..husband and wife, partners and family, soulmates, wife and wife, husband and husband. Or, like Dan and Gail, one of my recent couples, “Pinky and Brain”.

(And of course, you need a valid NJ wedding license, which can be used anywhere in the state. And you need two witnesses for the ceremony, who will then sign the license.)

Your ceremony should be a reflection of you and your personality, both as individuals and a couple.  How do you describe yourselves? Are you funny? Traditional? Reserved? Maybe a little of all? All of those traits should be reflected in your ceremony and readings, and a really good officiant will help your ceremony really sound like you, not just another couple getting married on that Saturday.

Your ceremony is a gift to your guests, and it should be more than just a generic chunk of time that stands between them and their first glass of Pinot Grigio. It is an opportunity to delight and surprise them; to introduce them to music and poetry that you love; to give them a little window on what makes your relationship so special. It’s an opportunity that shouldn’t be squandered!  

My colleague and friend  Dina Eisenberg, creator of “Positively Wed” could be the catalyst that makes your wedding truly your wedding in every sense. She has been an award winning mediator with over 17 years of experience as an attorney and advocate. And she’s a self-described “wedding fanatic”, who is planning five weddings for herself!  (To the same man!)  I can’t describe her services any better than she can, so here she is!

“Weddings are no time for feeling anger, frustration, or disappointment. I believe that love = fun, and weddings should be the most fun of all.  My work, my honor really, is teaching brides to successfully navigate the inevitable challenges that come with a wedding, and preserve special relationships while removing obstacles with confidence and a positive attitude. You don’t have to be a bridezilla to get your way, and you should never be a doormat. It’s possible to be calm and totally in control while creating the wedding you deserve.”

And Dina can help that happen. She can offer a fresh and objective opinion about the situations and challenges you’re facing in your planning.  She can help you negotiate conflicts calmly and resolve them without hurt feelings on either side.  Bridal Coaching is there to help you own your power and use it wisely. 

She has a number of different mediation services, and her website is a wealth of information, including a recent blog post by your favorite New Jersey wedding officiant  (smooth, eh?), which discusses how to get the ceremony you REALLY want! 

Would you like to have a giant pair of diamond earrings to wear on your wedding day? Well, then you should enter the “Red Carpet Wedding” contest from Bridal Tweet . One lucky bride a complimentary rental of dazzling diamond earrings!  Each bride who joins BridalTweet.com before October 30 will be entered to win, compliments of Adorn Brides.  

 “The Red Carpet Wedding contest is our way of thanking brides for joining our wedding community,” said Christine Dyer, creator and founder of BridalTweet.com. “We’re seeing that brides will rent anything from visual props to floral arrangements, table linens, head-pieces and sometimes even dresses; why not rent diamonds for the special day?”

  BridalTweet is a free online wedding community where brides, wedding vendors, and wedding bloggers can create meaningful relationships. Each bride that joins BridalTweet.com will also gain access to a multitude of ongoing benefits such as free wedding advice, exclusive offers, giveaways, information about local events, a local vendor directory, and more. All BridalTweet.com members, including brides, wedding vendors, (including me! your New Jersey Wedding Officiant!) and wedding bloggers, can also share tips and information via chats, blogs, discussions, groups, photos, and videos.  It’s really fun, and there are great ideas for every aspect of your wedding day!

“We are excited to work with BridalTweet.com to bring the red carpet glamour of diamonds on loan to one lucky bride’s big event,” shared Laura Carrintgon, co-founder and chief stylist for Adorn Brides. “Every bride, regardless of her budget deserves to have access to the very best in bridal accessories. Now, brides can rent thousands of dollars of diamond jewelry for a fraction of what it would cost to purchase them thanks to Adorn Brides.”

(Now for the fine print!  Rental cost not to exceed $150 in value. The retail value of the earrings can be up to $4,100. Subject to general rental terms and conditions of Adorn Brides. See official Red Carpet Wedding rules for complete details: www.bridaltweet.com/notes/Red_Carpet_Wedding_Rules)

Racine and Richard created a wonderful wedding at the Bethwood, in Totowa last month. Short, sweet, and totally “them”, it was a lovely way for them to start their married life!

See more reviews of Celia Milton, Celebrant on Project Wedding.

The road to marriage is not always an easy stroll. There are so many issues that can crop up whether you’re blending two individuals or two families. Even against a backdrop of such joy, there can be points of tension.  As the wedding day approaches, stress levels frequently go up as decisions need to be made and misunderstandings increase.  Venting and arguing are rarely good ways to deal with the myriad of issues that come up along the way. 

 A  few sessions with someone who can help to open up the lines of communication can make a huge difference in a short time.  I would recommend  Jonathan Sibley (LCSW).  His calm style of guidance can help couples to improve communication in ways that allow each partner to feel heard and understood. And walk down the aisle and beyond as true partners. Jonathan can be reached at (973) 337-6017 or via www.jonathansibley.net