Archive for June, 2010

The Magic’s in the Music!

Friday, June 25th, 2010
I have been to hundreds of weddings, and I have to admit, most DJ’s fill me with fear and dread. The fog machines. The inflatable guitars and Hawaiian leis;  the endless supply of cheesy music and mispronounced bridesmaids’ names.  The big giant banners that make your wedding into a bridal showcase…EWWWWWW.   It makes me afraid, very afraid. Why would you spend what feels like a gazillion dollars on your tastefully decorated and coordinated wedding to have it all destroyed by a DJ who thinks that it’s HIS party?
 
Well you can relax, because I’ve discovered the DJ who is so different, he should really be called something else….maybe a “Music Concierge”. He will sculpt the landscape of your wedding, and invisibly guide you and  your guests through a joyful, celebratory experience  that will leave them wanting to have a party of their own. 
 
I asked John Sinclair, of Aria Melody Entertainment, to weigh in on what makes his approach to wedding music so singular. (But first, I had to catch him; he is VERY, VERY booked, for good reason!) 
 
Celia: What made you decide to start a DJ business?  How did that happen? When did it happen? 
My older brother Paul and I started Aria Melody DJ in 2005; he had just gotten married and wanted a tasteful, unobtrusive, gimmick-free DJ: no lightshows, no plasma TVs (all the rage at the time), no singing along with the songs. He set up a few appointments with DJs who promised to be none of those things.  Sure enough, they’d try to sell him on a plasma TV slideshow.  At the same time, I was attending 4-5 weddings of college friends a year.  Sometimes the DJ would mispronounce their names; others wouldn’t have their first dance or parent dances.  Many were just obnoxious and let’s be honest, embarrassing.  So when Paul & I decided to start Aria Melody DJ, we made it the core of our approach: get right what so many DJs get wrong.  
 
C:   Describe your visual /presentation philosophy for a wedding.
- Our visual style is minimal and professional.  We started using the tagline “No lights. No fog. No gimmicks.” because it summed us up perfectly: we don’t have extravagant lightshows, never give out blow-up saxophones or guitars; we’d never, ever hang a sign or banner.  Many DJs insist they are entertainers.  We are not.  We play great music to keep people dancing all night long.  And we can do that without being the center of attention or relying on gimmicks.  On a related note of visuals, we wear tasteful suits.  Paul and I could never  figure out why some DJs wear flashy tuxes with fish wearing sunglasses all over the vests, collarless shirts or all black.  If you’re trying to blend in, you should look like a guest.  Wear a well-fitting suit.  
C:  What three questions should a couple ask their DJ?
1) If I didn’t give you a single request, what kind of music would you play? You’ll get a great sense of what kind of DJ he/she is without any guidance.  Would they suggest a few Oldies then Motown, a little Funk, followed by some fun 80s, 90s and then Top 40?  That DJ is trying to play something for everyone.  If the response is “I only play House Music or Hip Hop” and that’s not what you want, you might want to continue your search. 2) Can you offer some ideas for cocktail hour / our First Dance or Parent Dances?  Most DJs live and breathe music and the right one can give you fantastic ideas.  One couple I worked with met in Brooklyn and wanted all Brooklyn-based artists played during cocktail hour. I had a blast working with them on a playlist that included Vampire Weekend, Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow and MGMT. There are so many great alternatives to “Wind Beneath My Wings” to dance with Mom.  A good DJ can make some great, unique suggestions.  3)  Are you licensed, insured and offer a signed contract?  Couples are paying a lot of money for their wedding and they should be covered in every way.  Your DJ should be licensed in the state they live/have an office and carry $1,000,000 liability, as required by most venues.  If they don’t carry a Certificate of Insurance (standard practice), the venue may not let them in day-of.  And of course, read your contract carefully and be sure emergency plans, deposits, arrival times, etc. are in writing.
C:  How can a couple make sure that their DJ is going to do what they’ve discussed?
Use your best judgement :-)  Be sure to meet with the person who will be your DJ, not just the company owner (who is usually a fantastic salesman & marketer).  Be clear in your requests and expectations and gauge their responsiveness.  I take notes and add that each client’s file (i.e., “Joe the Groom hates Lady Gaga” or “Do not give Uncle Lou the microphone no matter how much he begs to sing “Sweet Caroline”).  Just before the wedding, request a final meeting and go over any special requests again and/or email them to your DJ so there is no misunderstanding.  
C: What is the ideal timetable for interviewing DJs, booking them, finalizing choices for specific music?
It really depends on the company.  Larger companies have more DJs working for them and therefore, more availability. I’m usually booked 9-12 months in advance for dates in demand (May/June/July and September/October) but I’ve also been booked 2 weeks before a wedding because the date happens to be free.  After I meet with a couple, I place a courtesy hold on the day and give them as much time as they need to decide (or until another couple requests a meeting).  Once booked, I check in with couples a few times over the months leading up to their wedding date and then ask for all requests & information forms 2 weeks in advance.  I go over everything and re-connect to go over final details, name pronunciations, etc. a week before their wedding date.  
C: What are your favorite, unconventional picks for processionals, recessionals, first dances, parent dances?

My favorites are songs that don’t “read” as Father/Daughter or Mother/Son dances but have special meaning.  One bride danced to Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” because thats what her dad sang to her when she was a little girl. We started the dance with an old family film of him singing it to her as a 5-year old as she danced on his toes.  Not a dry eye in the house :-) For processionals or recessionals, you can select music from your favorite movies (i.e. Wes Anderson movies usually feature music composed by Mark Mothersbaugh — PERFECT for wedding ceremonies).   We have a shiny, new music player on our website overflowing with favorites.
C: What’s the most unusual song choice one of your clients have picked?

It’s not so much unusual as it is awesome.  One couple danced to “Shama Lama Ding Dong” from Animal House — they had taken dance lessons and danced as if they were Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  It was fun, unique, absurd and everyone loved it. 
 
C:  What’s on YOUR ipod?
I’m into everything from James Brown to Vampire Weekend; Frank Sinatra, George Clinton, The Strokes, Dr. Dre, Mates of State, Jay-Z, Black Sheep, LCD Soundsystem, Tribe Called Quest, Black Eyed Peas and Passion Pit.  While I have it on shuffle, Miley Cyrus has been known to make an appearance.  Thats what happens when you have a 10 year old niece.  Who doesn’t like “Party in the U.S.A?” 

C: Where do the single socks go?  

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The Melody Lingers on!

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Aria Melody, that is!  My colleague John has the coolest, most sophisticated DJ company in the New York area, and he was kind enough to post a blog about yours truly, just a few days ago.  He was ALSO kind enough to write a wonderful blog for me, all about what makes Aria the best, “No Cheese, No Fog, No Chicken Dance” DJ company you could possibly want to have providing the soundtrack for your wedding celebration.  His blog is chocked full of great suggestions  

 

Here ya go! Thank you, John!!!

One of my new favorite wedding colleagues I’ve met recently is North Jersey / NYC Wedding Officiant Celia Milton. We’ve all been to weddings where the minister or officiant seems to have met the couple for the first time that day.  And you can drop in his/her names, wrap the ceremony up with that “Love is Patient, Love is Kind…” reading and move on to the cocktail hour.  And surprisingly, the most personal, touching, important part of day — the heart of the celebration — is over without feeling very personal, touching or important at all.That’s what makes Celia so unique. And why she gets rave reviews from happy couples and wedding professionals alike!  She has an amazing ability to capture all that is *you* and preside over a ceremony that’s all about YOUR love, family & friends.  Read more… 

John: What makes your ceremonies so unique? 

Celia: Well, truly, they are not my ceremonies; they are ceremonies that are all about the couple, and THAT’s what makes them unique.  Their love story is a large part, but we also include readings and music that they love, ritual elements that express their heritage, and touches that tell their story in many ways.

J: What can couples do to create a truly personal ceremony? 

C: The easiest way is to think about the things that make them unique; do they love dogs? Did they meet while skydiving? Are they both artists or musicians? Is the bride Jewish, the groom Hindu? All the things that make them the individuals that they are can find a way into the ceremony to make it truly theirs.

J: How can couples incorporate other family members or friends into their ceremony?

C: Many of my couples choose to keep their bridal parties small (or eliminate them all together) to eliminate the hurt feelings, political tussles and extra expense of having numerous people on each side. For many  friends and family, just being asked is honor enough. They may not have the time, the money, or (and I know this hurts….) the desire to be part of the bridal party with all the responsibilities that go with that request. They should have a gracious way out; that is a great gift to them.

But let’s say they’re in.  Unity candles and sand ceremonies often include different people to pour sand and light candles that are blended to symbolize the intermingling of each partner’s lives. A traditional Celtic hand fasting can include as many as six people to drape the different cords that will ‘bind’ the couples’ hands. Readings can be included; and many are appropriate and very cute for children if they are old enough to enjoy that spotlight. (Dr. Seuss’ ‘ Oh the Places You’ll Go” and Taylor Mali’s, “Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog”, are two that are great for kids.) Some readers may even want to write their own. 

Almost every wedding has ushers (or usherettes!) who will welcome the guests, guide then to their seats, and tell them, (nicely of course) to turn off their cell phones. They can hand out programs, rose petals or bubbles for the recessional. They can also let alert the guests to anything unexpected they’ll be participating in;  a ring warming, for example.

One of my couples had two children who were a little too old to be ring bearers or flowers girls. They had a big banner made, and the children preceded the bride in the processional with the side that said, “Here comes the bride!” and then followed the married couple with, “Just Married”. It was adorable, and they wore normal dressy clothes, not outfits that matched the bridal party.

J: Whats been the most unique thing you’ve seen included in a ceremony?

C: I had a bride roar up to the end of the aisle (a flower strewn aisle down the middle of an apple orchard…) in a white convertable Mustang. Her and her dad hopped out (engine running, lol) and walked down the aisle together!  I’ve had guests do interpretive dance presentations (the jury is out on that one…), and one very memorable “reading” by the couples’ dogs, via a powerpoint presentation and cartoon bubbles.  It was a riot…very hard to follow.  People think that when one of the bridal party faints it’s unique. That happens about once a month…..

J: You’ve presided over a lot of weddings but for many  couples, this is their first.  Any suggestions or tips?

C: Approach the ceremony planning just like the reception planning; with the goal of creating a meaningful, fun, personal celebration of your life together. Find someone who shares your vision and will let your wedding be about YOU, not about what “has” to happen during a wedding; if you’re not in a church or a synagogue, nothing really does, except your vows and a pronouncement.

 

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It’s my (Bridal) Party!

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

You’ve chosen your future spouse; now, what are you going to do about that bridal party? There’s your best friend from college, your best friend from work, your sister, your cousin, and inevitably there is someone who chose YOU, and expects you to return the favor. How you do begin to pick?

Many of my couples choose to keep their bridal parties small (or eliminate them all together) to eliminate the hurt feelings, political tussles and extra expense of having numerous people on each side. Wrangling all those bridesmaids, groomsmen, jr. attendants, flower girls, and Sparky, the ring dog is not everyone’s idea of their perfect wedding day. Fortunately, there are many other ways to include honored guests in the day and keep the couple’s stress level under control.

For many of your friends and family, just being asked is honor enough. They may not have the time, the money, or (and I know this hurts….) the desire to be part of the bridal party with all the responsibilities that go with that request. When you ask anyone to do anything, you should give them a gracious way out; they’ll love you even more.

But let’s, for the moment, assume you have a list of eligible candidates that is bigger than the ceremony space. How can they be involved?

Many interesting ritual elements can include these guests. Unity candles and sand ceremonies often include different people to pour sand and light candles that eventually are blended to symbolize the intermingling of each partner’s family friends. A traditional Celtic hand fasting can include as many as six people to drape the different cords that will ‘bind’ the couples’ hands. Readings can be included; and many are appropriate and very cute for children if they are old enough to enjoy that spotlight. (Dr. Seuss’ ‘ Oh the Places You’ll Go” and Taylor Mali’s, “Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog”, are two that are great for kids.) Your readers may even want to write their own.

Almost every wedding has ushers (or usherettes!) who will welcome the guests, guide then to their seats, and tell them, (nicely of course) to turn off their cell phones. They can hand out programs, rose petals or bubbles for the recessional. They can also let alert the guests to anything unexpected they’ll be a part of; a ring warming, for example.

One of my couples had two children who were a little too old to be ring bearers or flowers girls. They had a big banner made, and the children preceded the bride in the processional with the side that said, “Here comes the bride!” and then followed the married couple with, “Just Married”. It was adorable, and they wore normal dressy clothes, not outfits that matched the bridal party.

Many of the ceremonies I write with my couples speak of the people that played a part in their history; the colleague who introduced them; the friends who helped keep the proposal a secret. When they are mentioned in the story, it is instantly a more individual story, drawing on the memories of everyone who knows the “character

One of my couples gave single flowers to their siblings, thanking each one for the role they played in their family while growing up; another had their siblings process up the aisle with them and add a flower each to a vase on the ceremony table. Another had a little part of the ceremony in which each sibling and parent stood and read a one line quote about marriage; some funny, some touching.

Your choice to include each person in your wedding is a gift of love. Give those gifts wisely, and your ceremony will be personal and memorable to both you and them.

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