What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

Whoopie!!!! What a Great Wedding Dessert Idea!

admin — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 12:26:07 +0000

How cute are these babies! I love Mr. Food, the gregarious, cheerful TV chef, but I love him even more since he posted these beauties! Of course they would be beautiful for easter, but I love them for a wedding dessert table, a delicious takeaway favor or even a little treat before an early morning ceremony. Yummmmmm!!!!!!!

Whoopie!!!! What a Great Wedding Dessert!

admin — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 12:18:07 +0000

Are these the cutest things ever? I’ve always loved Mr. Food, the cheerful TV chef, but when I saw these I fell in love all over again. I instantly thought weddings (because I always think weddings). (You can get the recipe here.) I think they would be adorable for a dessert buffet or as a takeaway favor, or as a little snack before a morning wedding ceremony. Yum!!!!

Why Knot?

admin — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 02:29:00 +0000

Are you wearing a White Knot? I am; many of my friends and colleagues are, and here’s why:

The White Knot is the symbol for support of Marriage Equality—the right for any loving couple regardless of gender to be married under the civil laws of the state and the country. Everyone should have the right to tie the knot.

Marriage Equality is a vital civil right denied to most same-sex couples except in that handful of states where it has finally been recognized. It is vital because marriage is about committed couples—all committed couples—who want to make a lifelong promise to take care of and be responsible for each other. This can only strengthen family and society. This is why Marriage Equality is important to everyone.

It’s not just about the word Marriage. Denying committed couples the security and legal protections of marriage hurts them. It’s just plain wrong to make it harder for them to take care of and be responsible for each other. The institution of civil marriage offers equal protection under the law when it comes to taxes, health care and decision-making, employment benefits, and perhaps most importantly, raising healthy and happy children.

So I ask you to join me today in showing your support for Marriage Equality and equal rights under the law for everyone. Wear a White Knot every day. Tell people why you are wearing it. And if you can, hand out White Knots to those around you.

For more information, go to http://www.whiteknot.org There you can find out how to get White Knots, make your own, get more information about the issues, and even donate to help spread the word.

Thank!

The Wings of Love! History in the Making!

admin — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 14:34:26 +0000

It is not often that one gets a chance to be part of history, but thanks to superstar lifestyle and wedding designer Colin Cowie, I had that privilege last week. For any of us involved with weddings, there could not be a more significant day than Valentines Day, but this was a Valentines Day like no other.

As an introduction and celebration for his lush new website, Colin Cowie Weddings, four fantastic, deserving, and very diverse couples were chosen to be married (and “recepted”) at New York City’s most famous historical Icon, the Empire State Building. Each couple’s wedding was customized to fit their story and personality. And each wedding, as you might imagine, was gorgeous. (Did we expect anything else from Mr. Cowie? Of course not.)

I was chosen (how did I get this lucky? I’ll never know….) to marry Lela and Steph, the first gay couple to have their wedding ceremony there. Weddings are always exciting, joyous and a little nerve wracking, but when legions of international press photographers and reporters, an army of makeup artists (Estee Lauder’s wizards even made ME look good!), stylists, caterers, musicians and florists are added to the mix, the atmosphere becomes electric. I don’t think any of us could have predicted just how compelling and monumental their ceremony would be!

I always have the same advice for my couples; concentrate on each other, no matter what else is happening. Within the swirl of happy chaos, you will create a private island that is yours alone. Now, this is great advice , but even more meaningful when the entire world is watching. And watching they were. Minutes after their “I DO’s” were done and the license signed, photos of this gorgeous, happy couple were circulating the globe. Even as they enjoyed an intimate breakfast reception with their friends and family (it WAS before 9 AM afterall!) congratulations were coming in from every corner of the planet.

Even though I always considered Mr. Cowie a dynamic creative force, an arbiter of matchless taste and just a really class act, my tiny part in this experience proved that belief as clearly as the crystals adorning every branch. His vision shone as intently as the romantic, symbolic purple light cast on our ceremony. By including two gay couples (Lela and Steph were followed by Phil and Shawn, married by my amazing colleague Kim Kirkley), he has said to the world, that by the authority granted to HIM, these couples are as deserving, as loyal, as devoted and as legitimate as any committed couple, and deserve all the rights and responsibility of legal marriage. It was inspiration; inspiration amid such beautiful trappings (always the best kind of inspiration)!

As they walked down the aisle, we all cried (yes, even me……and I usually think I’m immune…..); tears of excitement, tears of joy, tears that come with the recognition of just how significant a marriage is. Surrounded by their friends, the family they’ve inherited and the family they have so carefully chosen, Steph and Lela showed us that love prevails. True love will never lead us astray. Love is worth fighting for; not only our own, but for all couples everywhere.

And now the voting begins! You can go to this link to read about all four fabulous couples and vote for the one you love the best. But it’s no secret who I’m voting for! (This beautiful photo, and all the photos on the site, are from Christian Oth Studios, and we appreciate the chance to share them.)

Wedding Ceremony Recessional? Cross those swords!

admin — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:09:38 +0000

or anything else that is meaningful to you! You don’t have to recess from your ceremony through a tunnel of crossed swords; you can have an archway of anything that is meaningful to you! Your “sword bearers” need to be seated on the aisle, and they need to know the last words of your ceremony so they can rise and cross implements!

Let’s see; could be tennis rackets, golf clubs, chefs’ knives, whisks, slide rules, rakes…….I can hear ya thinking!!!

Having a Wonderful Time; Wish You Were Here!

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:11:34 +0000

And they will be if you send your guests a “save the date” card before the invitations go out. This is a great idea on many different levels. If your wedding is on a holiday weekend, or at destination location, you can help them plan their mini vacation and put reservations in place for their hotels. It can also give you an early heads up on just who can come and who absolutely cannot, so you may be able to add some guests you thought you might not be able to accomodate.

It can set the tone of the wedding, depending on the type of stationary you decide to use; I got a wonderful antique postcard from one of my brides who is in a vacation spot in upstate New York. It reminded me how much fun I’m going to have with this couple, who have both an appreciation of historic sites and a real solid sense of humor. You can design your own at my favorite company, MOO!, who prints all kinds of neat stuff for very little $$$

New Jersey; A Great Place to Elope! Maybe!

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:47:57 +0000

New Jersey has always been a great state to elope to, but the legislature may make this easier today! My friend and colleague Marilyn Lockwood, an officiant in south Jersey wrote about this in her blog today. It is time for New Jersey to get with the program, and let people elope to New Jersey without a waiting period!

NJ’s Pending Marriage Proposal

Soon, NJ may be one of 28 states to no longer require a 3 day waiting period after applying for a marriage or civil union license.

This proposition by democrats Sen. Nicholas Scutari of Union County and Assemblyman Lou Greenwald of Camden is great news for spontaneous couples looking to tie the knot along the Jersey coast. It also gives Atlantic City, in particular, a bit more of an edge in luring couples who might otherwise have gone to Vegas.

Anyone familiar with Atlantic City’s rich history knows that this measure is in keeping with Atlantic City’s appeal as a fun and anything goes city. And it will also benefit those couples who get bitten by the love bug while visiting one of the countless other coastal communities that NJ has to offer.

This will undoubtedly appeal to couples who prefer spontaneity and like being able to say, “Today’s the day,” and really be able to get the job done without hassle.

Obviously, the passing of this law pleases me. I love weddings and beachfront weddings hold a special place in my heart because they are usually very special to the couples who identify with the ocean as a sacred location. Churches and Temples traditionally played the role in housing wedding ceremonies, but with more and more secular couples, and couples of mixed faith looking for neutral territory, couples are identifying locations of natural beauty as their new sacred ground. NJ’s scenic coastal towns offer a perfect backdrop for couples saying their “I do’s” in a natural setting that for many of them, invokes a sense that they are at home, in a peaceful and naturally beautiful setting.

There is also a provision of a thirty day, no questions asked, annulment period which accompanies this proposal, just in case some couples get too swept up and get in over their heads. I don’t think is a bad thing for anyone. You can live with someone for years, but it is not the same as being married, I don’t care what anyone says. Being legally and morally bound to another human being is truly only something you can understand when you fully realize you’ve made that commitment to them. A built in grace period following any marriage or civil union is a merciful asset. I’m hoping and would be very interested to see, if over the long haul, that this thirty day grace period doesn’t help reduce the number of divorces of couples who invest years in a situation that they knew was a mistake even after only a few days.

This opinion may come as a surprise since I am a wedding minister. Obviously, I want all my couples to live happily ever after. But I think psychologically, that this thirty day period gives a sense of ease to couples and alleviates the initial stress of the first few weeks of marriage, until they can settle into their forever reality of devotion to one another.

Invite Richard Simmons to your Wedding!

admin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:10:12 +0000

You know him; you love him; I admire him. There is probably no one in the health and fitness field that is more inspiring and positive than Richard Simmons. And “positive” is the key word here; his legions of followers love his upbeat and caring nature, always cheerful, always letting us know that we CAN meet our goals, weight wise and life wise. He doesn’t need to beat you, yell at you, belittle you or embarrass you into being fit; he does it with genuine love and concern.

I had the privilege of meeting Richard many years ago at a catering convention in Nashville. Each morning, he lead a giant group of stressed out, party weary caterers and event planners in a morning stretch, before we went on our way to discuss appetizers and aisle runners. And he was great; if Richard can’t get you moving with a smile on your face, no one can.

According to a recent poll in one of those bride mags, almost 85% of you are adding some kind of fitness regimen to your wedding plans. (And the bonus? Working out will not only make you LOOK better, but it will make you FEEL better; stress relief is key!) Why don’t you invite Richard to your wedding? You’ll feel better, you’ll dance the night away…..and he might just come! (So have some steamed veggies ready!)

“Are you a wedding minister or what?”

admin — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 13:58:57 +0000

My clients ask me this question all the time; “What are you? Are you a minister, a Justice of the Peace? A ship’s captain?” This is the answer; it’s not the quickest answer, but it’s the correct one.

I am a Life-Cycle Celebrant®, trained at the Celebrant Foundation and Institute in Montclair, NJ. I started my coursework their after my seminary and grad school. It offered me something that neither could; explicit training in creating and performing ceremonies.

My colleagues and I have each worked hard, making sacrifices of effort, time, and tuition to earn that title. That title matters, and it’s a title that differentiates us from the myriad of other officiants that you might be considering. It means we’re uniquely qualified to marry you; and then welcome your babies and the possibly guide you through the passing of a loved one or beloved pet. We offer—PERSONALIZED ceremonies for EVERYONE, regardless of their beliefs, heritage, gender, or the occasion. [*Of course, sign the paperwork according to your legal designation.]

We create beautiful, personalized ceremonies for people like [you, your son/daughter, grandchild, coworker, friend]. Life-Cycle Celebrants® believe everyone deserves the dignity of a ceremony that is personally meaningful and reflects who they are.

In New Jersey, most of us are also ministers, which makes us legal to marry you. The effort towards legal recognition of Celebrant status alone has started here, but the goal is for us to have it everywhere eventually—in every state and province and country where we practice.

For now, all you might need to know is that your officiant is legal and capable of marrying you in New Jersey; able to write and perform the perfect ceremony for you. And that’s fine. But the reason I can do that, and probably one of the reasons you’ll choose me for your wedding, is because I’m a Life-Cycle Celebrant. Congratulations!

(And thanks to Cris Kollet, from Celebrant, for her clear and helpful words.)

But it’s Only 20 minutes!

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:54:23 +0000

While a decadent multi level wedding cake, a designer gown and gourmet cuisine may be on every couple’s wish list, the only service they really need is their officiant. But while every couple enjoys planning the reception and the honeymoon, often with budget breaking results, far fewer look forward to planning the ceremony. For many couples, it’s the necessary hurdle that makes the marriage possible. It seems boring, routine and….expensive.

“I don’t know why it cost so much, it’s only 20 minutes!” is a common comment when couples find that their officiant ‘s fee is more than they thought, even if they had no idea WHAT that would cost when they started to plan. The truth of the matter is, that like an iceberg, that “twenty minutes” of ceremony is just the smallest part of what really goes into an inspiring and memorable ceremony.

If you have decided to have a ceremony with an independent officiant (as opposed to your family rabbi, minister or priest), you’ll find that the choices of what to say and how to say it are dizzying. You can literally do almost anything you want (as long as you take a vow to each other and someone legal pronounces you married). You can include your favorite music, your friends and family, even your dog! Taking your ideas, your history and hopes for the future and blending all of that into a meaningful ceremony is a challenging task.

The person who takes that on has to have a blend of experience, curiosity, and enthusiasm. They need to be able to write your gorgeous story, perform it with style, and deal with all the spontaneous things that may happen along the way. (That would be fainting groomsmen, tantrum throwing flower girls and ring bearer dogs who eat the rings…..) They need to have the personality to charm everyone in the room at the same time that they are performing something very, very important. And they have to be legal.

To do this effectively, they have to know you, to think about you, to write about you, to collaborate with you. They need to spend time with you on the day, follow up afterwards and make sure you have all the information you need before, during and after the ceremony. That is time consuming; the average, hand written wedding takes more than ten hours, from the time you first call your potential officiant, through the interview, to the writing and editing and up to the mailing of your license. (Certified mail, please!)

You should feel that your officiant is truly your partner, and is not only willing, but enthusiastic about researching traditions that are important to your family, writing new rituals (I DO love my sushi sharing!) And you should never feel rushed, like you are ‘Wedding Number 12 on Weekend Number 6”. You should feel special, because your wedding IS special. Not just to you, but to the guests that you have invited to share the day.

You’ve planned every detail of your wedding to be personal, unique and inspiring! Picking the right officiant is another way to make that happen, exactly as you imagined it (or maybe even better).