What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

Filet Mignon?  Saturday?  Again?  Totally boring.

Cost cutting strategy #2.  (Number 1 is cutting the guest list mercilessly.)  Think about planning your wedding celebration  for a different day or a different time. Friday night dinner? Yep, happens all the time.  Sunday brunch in the a beautiful tent in the backyard? Great idea!  Sunset cocktails and hors d’oeuvres on a Thursday after a New Jersey Shore ceremony?  Another great idea!

Lots of wonderful bonuses happen when you start to think outside the Saturday night box. Your  wedding venue will probably be less expensive. Your caterer will be delighted. Your Dj may charge less. Your flowers will be fresh. The expectation of what will unfold during the celebration will be jolted so you can do some unconventional (translated, less expensive) things. Some of the guests that might not have been able to attend because of conflicts can now attend! It’s all good!

Here are three great ideas to keep in mind when you’re planning the refreshments for your wedding.

Limiting the bar selections at your  wedding reception can make that bar bill a bit more pleasant.  Go with wine, beer and a signature drink that matches your theme, your color, or your personality. As we get into the fall, we’re seeing a lot of pumpkin and cranberry martinis; at my New Jersey beach weddings, Blue Margaritas and Bay Breezes are always a big hit!   Your banquet manager or bar manager can help you create a drink that’s perfect for you.
You don’t even need to have liquor at your wedding reception; pick an assortment of wines that are local to the place your getting married or some of the significant places in your history as a couple.  These could be places you went to school, moved to afterwards, or just dreamed about.   All are  wonderful inspirations.  One of my couples picked a selection of wines from a winery near their college, where they met.  Another chose  six wines that all had dog theme names.  (The Dog Lovers’ Wine Club is a great resource finding great wines with dog names and labels!)   What a great way for everyone at your wedding to get a little inside glimpse of your story as a couple!
A sparkling wine bar is a festive, upscale idea that doesn’t cost a lot.  In addition to offering two choices of wine ( Prosecco, Asti and Cava are less expensive choices), put out bowls of strawberries and raspberries, pitchers of peach, orange and pomegranate juices and maybe some Cassis for Kir Royales.  

Almost nothing adds romance to a wedding like beautiful flowers.  Even if you’re doing a simple ceremony, eloping to a park with your nearest and dearest, you’ll want to have a bouquet.  Here are a few sweet ideas for you!  (These are the first five tips on our brandy new wedding website, 500 Great Wedding Ideas

If you order a bouquet that can be separated into several smaller sections, the toss can be a tremendous surprise for the several guests who catch them! One of our bride had a charm on each one, with a quote to match. The pewter owl, representing wisdome3 and protection had the quote, “ A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.” A tree, symbolic of stability over time came with the quote, “ “Brief is life but love is long.” Each charm made a wonderful keepsake for the lucky catchers!

A charm on your bouquet is a wonderful to remember a family member, a favorite pet, your first date, the beach where your proposal took place.

Your bouquet can be wrapped with a strip from your mother’s wedding dress or veil; your christening gown, or a strip of your family’s tartan as a sweet way to honor your families and heritage.

Drying your bouquet is a craft that almost anyone can master. All it takes is time, acid free tissue and some bricks!

Your bouquet and your attendants’ can be used for your head table arrangements. Make sure your florist brings suitable, weighted vases to put them in. They will be top-heavier than you think.

Who is that guy with the baby blue snowman print tie at table 12?

Cost cutting strategy #1. Keep the guest list under control. Think like a mercenary; this is going to sound cold very cold, and in some ways it is, but it’s necessary. If you had four people to invite out to dinner, knowing it would cost 200.00 per guest, would you invite this person and his/her guest (who you probably don’t know, and in many cases, by next month neither will they….)?  In ten years, will you remember who they are? Are they really meaningful to you, a part of your history and future, or is this invitation an obligation?

Your wedding day is not a day to pay back social dues. It is a day to celebrate with the people you love and the people who support and love you.

Sit down with your fiance and family and make that dreaded list; NO NO NO: make FOUR lists. Make yours, make your fiance’s, get both families’. Then take out some colored pens and put dots next to everyone you really want/know/love on each list. Then, the ones with four dots are certain. After that it is up to negotiation, based on your budget, the size of your venue, and how bent out of shape someone in the process will become.

To those loved and semi-loved ones who cannot be included, you send a beautiful announcement, preferably with a handwritten note with your regrets at not being able to include all the signifcant people in your lives. If pressed further about why they did not get a “real” invite, you defer to the “venue too small” defense, bolstered by “someone”s (not yours; blame it on the invisible “someone”) desire to have a very small and intimate affair with just the immediate family. If a person who is not invited to the wedding sends you a gift, make sure, sure sure that you send that thank you note out as SOON as possible. Gracious is as gracious does.

Your second most important decision (after you’ve said “YES!!”)  is WHERE you’re going to say it. Your budget, the size of your guest list, and seasonal and local availability will all be factors in the selection of venues appropriate for your wedding, but New Jersey has a wealth of great ceremony venues.

I have yet to have a couple  ask me  how to find an outrageously expensive venue, so I’d like to provide a few ideas for locating good value venues based upon my experience officiating over 500 weddings in New Jersey and New York.

1. Civic Centers, Park Pavilions, and other public facilities: Check with your municipal, county and state Parks & Recreation department. Gorgeous historical mansions can be found for a song! (This beautiful photo is from Brian Friedman, in Central Park’s Cop Cot.)

2. Fraternal Lodges: Elk, Moose, VFW, Knights of Columbus, etc.: Look on their national websites to find a location near you.

3. Community Clubhouses (apartment, condo, neighborhood): Ask friends and family who live in communities with clubhouses to sponsor you.

4. Public Gardens: Check your local listings (on-line and yellow pages)

5. Performing Arts Centers: Check your local listings (on-line and yellow pages)

6. Private Homes: Home weddings can be absolutely lovely, but do come with their own set of challenges because they are not created to be event venues. Here are some ideas for making a home a suitable wedding venue. http://brevardminister.com/tips_for_home_weddings.htm

7. Museums and Art Galleries: You might be surprised at how reasonable a museum or gallery can be, especially if they are not known for being a wedding venue and would appreciate the incremental income. Check your local listings (on-line and yellow pages)

8. Business Meeting Space: Ask friends or family if they work at or know of a business in town that has hall space and might be willing to rent it after hours. For example, my town clerk’s office  has a fabulous meeting area they rent out for weddings at a phenomenally inexpensive rate, but they don’t advertise. You have to know they are there.

9. Unitarian Universalist congregations are often willing to rent their space to non-members at reasonable rates. http://uua.org/aboutus/findcongregation/index.php

10. Unusual Venues: Be creative and think about places you have been that might make a nice wedding and/or reception venue. These can be especially meaningful if they are associated with your relationship. For example, I have officiated weddings at a local nursery where the groom shopped frequently (the plants made a naturally gorgeous background), a bowling alley where the bride and groom met and played in several leagues, a zoo where the couple volunteered, and a marina where the couple fished regularly. In a few of these instances, the bride and groom didn’t have to pay a dime because the venue wanted the publicity. It never hurts to ask.

and a BONUS!  11. Colleges, Universities and Independent Schools; many schools (Including NJ’s own Rutgers University) have galleries, chapels and libraries that are magnificent, and very often they are available to the general public.

If you’re looking for favors, placecards and holders, bridal party gifts, or any kind of little party thingie, you have to check out Sweet Memory Creations’ fun online store. They have some of the most stylish and unique choices ever, including bridal shower favors, and baby shower favors, and gifts for all occasions. With their vast selection, you are sure to find the perfect favors for your wedding, (in fact, it will probably be hard to choose…), in any price range you have in mind. 

I found so many things that I just loved; so much that would have been just perfect for my weddings over the summer!  How about these adorable BBQ placecard holders for an outdoor picnic theme? Autumn leaves for your wedding next fall? (They have so many beautiful autumn/leafy themed products). And how much do I wish I had these great, mailable gliders (with stickers for customizing!)  for my flight attendants and pilots last summer?  Heck, I want them myself! 

Sweet Memory Creations will match any legitimate, advertised price, and for a limited time, you can get 10% off your order with the code, “grand10″.

Their blog is also full of great wedding ideas, and, WHAT A SHOCK!, they were nice enough to feature your favorite New Jersey wedding officiant today!  Many thanks, and best of luck to you, “Sweeties!”  I’ll be shopping with you soon!

How cute is Owney the Postal Dog!  If you’re a dog lover, this might be the perfect stamp for your invites or RSVP’s. Who is Owney?  Here is his heartwarming story!  I’m using them on ALL of my mail, even my bills, lol!

With this Owney the Postal Dog (Forever®) stamp, the U.S. Postal Service™ commemorates Owney, the canine mascot of the Railway Mail Service. Beloved of clerks on mail-sorting trains at the end of the 19th century, Owney was hailed as a symbol of good luck. Today he is an icon of American postal lore whose story highlights the historical importance of the Railway Mail Service.

The stamp art features an original illustration of Owney, with many of his famous tags and medals gleaming in the background.

In the 1880s, during the height of the Railway Mail Service, clerks in the Post Office in Albany, New York, took a liking to a terrier mix named Owney. Fond of riding in postal wagons, Owney followed mailbags onto trains and soon became a good-luck charm to Railway Mail Service employees, who made him their unofficial mascot. Working in the Railway Mail Service was highly dangerous: According to the National Postal Museum, more than 80 mail clerks were killed in train wrecks and more than 2,000 were injured between 1890 and 1900. However, it was said that no train ever met with trouble while Owney was aboard.

As Owney traveled the country, clerks affixed medals and tags to his collar to document his travels. When John Wanamaker, Postmaster General from 1889 to 1893, heard that Owney was overburdened with tags, he gave him a special harness to display them all. During his travels, Owney accumulated more than a thousand medals and tags. Today Owney is on display at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Postal Museum in a case that includes some of his medals and tags.

Art director Phil Jordan worked with veteran stamp artist Bill Bond to create this special symbol of the United States Postal Service.

The Owney the Postal Dog stamp is being issued as a Forever stamp. Forever stamps are always equal in value to the current First-Class Mail one-ounce rate.