What a great New Jersey wedding Ceremony!

I get to perform the coolest ceremonies for the coolest weddings ever, and very often my couples ask me for non-traditional selections for the processional and recessional.  I turned to my colleague, Jennifer, from My Deejay in Maryland, for some suggestions. Boy, did she deliver (not a surprise since her company has won about every award possible).  Here is what she told me (oh; and by the way; she has a fabulous new Ebook out; go to her site and download your own!)

Hi Celia!  Okay…here you go! These might be a little offbeat, but you did say nontraditional! Our clients have pretty eclectic music tastes, and these are some of the coolest songs we’ve come across. PROCESSIONAL: Jake Shimabukuro – “In My Life” (Beatles cover on the ukelele – awesome!) The Sandals – “Theme from ‘Endless Summer’” The Flaming Lips – “Do You Realize” Asher Book – “Try” (from the ‘Fame’ soundtrack) Coldplay – “Life in Technicolor ii” (instrumental) Yiruma – “A River Flows In You” Explosions in the Sky – “Your Hand in Mine” Postal Service – “Such Great Heights” Gipsy Kings – “Passion” (instrumental) Belle and Sebastian – “We Rule the School” RECESSIONAL: Coldplay – “Viva la Vida” Chairlift – “Bruises” When in Rome – “The Promise” The Bar Kays – “Soul Finger” Bil Withers – “Lovely Day” The Beatles – “All You Need is Love” The Zombies – “This Will Be Our Year” FIRST DANCE: Elbow – “One Day Like This” Jamie Cullum – “Love Ain’t Gonna Let You Down” Buddy Holly – “Dearest” John Legend – “Slow Dance” Otis Redding – “That’s How Strong My Love Is” Ryan Adams and the Cardinals – “Dance All Night” Neko Case – “Don’t Forget Me” Band of Horses – “No One’s Gonna Love You” Clem Snide – “Find Love” Keb Mo’ – “Life is Beautiful” Sarah Blasko – “Something Good” Ben Folds – “The Luckiest” Let me know if you need anything else at all — I didn’t want to totally indundate you, but I’m always around if you need more information or ideas! Jennifer

Planning your wedding reception can seem completely overwhelming. There are a multitude of choices to make, but right on the top of the list is what kind of format you’re  considering for the celebration.   There are so many ways to host your guests beyond simply a  sit down style dinner or buffet stations. That very important decision may make one reception venue more appropriate than another, in terms of budget, guest count, formaility, or timeframe.

Of course, there is the option of having an extended cocktail hour, a brunch, or a fabulous dessert partybut you might want to consider  going “family style”.  You can choose to serve one course this way, or make it the theme for your party, just for fun.  This  will give your guests a chance to break the ice and get to know each other. Sharing a meal together is part of the fun of the party; I actually have a couple who  met as they fought over the last meatball…..love that passion!

You might choose a  beautiful salad or pasta  with luscious toppings; maybe a feast of dishes that just keeps coming. (A “tapas” menu is perfect for this!)  Make sure that the platters are easy to be passed around from guest to guest, and don’t pick choices that are too drippy or sloppy to serve; linquini marinara is probably not a good idea.  Your caterer or banquet manager can guide you as you choose a varied menu, and your guests will have a ball!

New York has lifted the ban on same sex weddings, which is a wonderful benchmark that more states should imitate. I am very proud that New Jersey had made civil unions legal for years; we have a little more work to do, (which unfortunately will not happen under our current, civil rights adverse administration….;-(  BUT  at least some of the protections and privileges granted to “traditional” couples are now in place for same sex couples.

Many of my wedding officiant colleagues feel that the right to marry the person you love is among one of life’s most basic rights, one that our couples have been deprived of for many years. This brave legislative decision is a move that brings joy to us and will let these families be recognized as the life long commitments that they are.

On the first day that gay New Yorkers can have their ceremonies, I will happily marry as many as I can, for free, and the same offer is extended to gay NJ couples who would like to tie the white knot in solidarity.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CELIA MILTONCelia Milton of North Haledon considers her career as a full-time, freelance non-denominational wedding officiant, “the best calling on the planet.”

Milton has been a freelance wedding officiant for six years. She is also a wedding pastor and a motivational speaker.

“The way I approach a wedding ceremony is not like a minister or a rabbi. I start with a story, not a sermon,” said Celia. “I create an atmosphere of excitement, of introspection and discovery.”

She performs weddings and civil unions throughout New Jersey and New York. She follows the Unitarian Universalist tradition, and completed her Masters at Union Theological Seminary in New York City. She also studied at Fordham University in New York and at the Celebrant USA Foundation in Montclair.

“People often view weddings as something to sit through. My ceremonies are completely couple-driven. It’s all about them. It’s just like the bride and groom, only on a really important day,” she said.

In her ceremonies, Milton honors each couple’s ethic, spiritual and religious traditions. She helps each couple express their personalities and unique stories.

For more information, visit www.celiamilton.com or call 201-563-5544.

—Tonya Holman

It is SO SO SO time for New York to pass the Gay Marriage bill and afford this very basic civil right to loving couples from Canton to Brooklyn.

These words fromMassachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall address marriage in the context of gay unions, but her words could not ring truer of any devoted partnership.

“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations….Without question, civil marriage enhances the “welfare of the community.” It is a “social institution of the highest importance.” …

Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family…. Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.”

Keep your fingers crossed, go give your support to White Knot and make your opinion known.

I believe that I mentioned how much  I love being a wedding officiant, especially in New Jersey, where we have gorgeous beaches to provide the perfect backdrop for memorable ceremonies.   The beach is a perfect metaphor for marriage; shifting sands,  rolling waves, the ebb and flow of the tides…..ahhh…..it’s almost too easy to write about but it’s even more fun when I have a couple as cool as Jenn and Joe!

They are beach lovers and  animal lovers to the core, two of the many things that they  have in common, and their wedding reflected their passions in every detail that was so lovingly crafted. From their adorable  Starfish table cards  (this is mine, with a poodle!) to their shell-trimmed wedding cake  to the leis the presented to their parents during the ceremony, each touch was carefully planned.  And I know for a fact that they spent quite a few months covered with glue and glitter!

And what a ceremony it was! We talked about Jenn and Joe’s story, which included both comedy and tragedy. Theirs is a story of true soulmates, of two people who absolutely found the perfect partner.  We started with a great reading about dogs;

If a dog were your teacher, you would learn stuff like…

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

Take naps, and stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention, and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will suffice.

On warm days, stop to lay on your back on the grass.

On truly hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout; run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. (author unknown)

and we ended with “The Legend of the Starfish”.

A man was walking along a beach when he saw a young boy. Along the shore were many starfish that had been washed up by the tide and were sure to die before the tide returned. The boy was walked slowly along the shore and occasionally reached down and tossed the beached starfish back into the ocean. The man, hoping to teach the boy a little lesson in common sense, walked up to the boy and said, “I have been watching what you are doing, son. You have a good heart, and I know you mean well, but do you realize how many beaches there are around here and how many starfish are dying on every beach every day. Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?” The boy looked up at the man, and then he looked down at a starfish by his feet. He picked up the starfish, and as he gently tossed it back into the ocean, he said, “It makes a difference to that one.”

“According to legend, starfish are ocean borne reflections of stars in the sky Symbolizing rebirth, starfish have a remarkable ability for regeneration. If a starfish is cut in half, two starfish will grow. What a sweet illustration of  equality and teamwork!  As  each of the limbs of the starfish work together for the benefit of the whole, so does each partner in a marriage thrive with the love and support of the whole.

And then, their guests raced to the edge of the surf and threw starfishes infused with their wishes for the couple  into the ocean, insuring many, many years of love and luck to Jenn and Joe!  It was an amazing celebration for a terrific couple!!

By those tiny little feathery things that those British women seem so fond of wearing!   The royal wedding was punctuated by many of them, some wonderful, some….not so (we’ll leave specific names out!)  I was wondering if this will become a trend for spring and summer weddings, but I didn’t have to wonder for very long!  I married a fabulous couple on Saturday morning, and…..YES!  Taylor wore a fascinator!                                                                                                                                                                          Their entire wedding was an amazing and intimate affair, from their little ceremony on the Pier 17, at the Street Seaport, to their vows, said on the deck of a New York Waterway boat, hovering in front of the magnificent Statue of Liberty, to their wedding attire!  Juan Carlos, her handsome groom wore a crisp seersucker suit, his vest embroidered with an anchor!  And topping off Taylor’s short, sweet, damask cocktail dress was a tiny nautical striped fascinator trimmed with a miniature schooner!  Taylor incorporated so many sweet, oceanic touches; hand-sewn flags draped over the handrails; a custom soundtrack of their favorite music (“Come Sail Away” was their sendoff piece!) and of course, snappy yellow and blue flowers for all.

My “royal” couple had  a completely different wedding than Kate and Will, but it was just as sweet (and they had a longer first kiss too!!!) Congratulations, Taylor and Juan Carlos; best wishes for many years of smooth sailing!

(and how cute is this adorable little fascinator from PrettyGoodThings

May is one of my favorite months, especially for weddings. It’s spring!  It’s mothers’ day! It’s wedding season!  What better way to honor your moms than to include them in  your wedding ceremony. I love this little ceremony for several reasons. Your wedding day is a huge day for your moms and sometimes I feel like they get escorted down the aisle, eased into the seat and forgotten about. Your dad may walk you down the aisle, but I wanted something different and special for your moms.

Your moms will love it!  Your photographer will love it! (Great photo opp….)  Your officiant will love it! It’s just a perfect idea, especially if your wedding is near this holiday. (I’ve also included this when the wedding falls near grandparents’ day (the first Sunday after Labor Day; this year, it’s September 11th).

You would order two single roses from your florist; pink is ideal since it’s the color of gratitude and roses are the flower of love. At the appropriate time (usually right after we welcome the guests), I’d call them up to join us in the ceremony space. (If the moms are very, very shy or either of them is not able to walk comfortably, the couple can go to them at their seats in the front row.) You would hand them each a rose; hug, kiss, cry and this is what I would say:  they’ll love it!  Trust me!

“April  and  Bill have chosen to honor two special women today .  Flowers have a language all their own. In Victorian times, flowers were often used to express sentiments and feelings that were too precious to put into words. One of those sentiments is deep gratitude, and these single roses express that gratitude perfectly, if silently. April and Beau  are the individuals they are because of your guidance, love, and patience.

It is truly a sweet coincidence that this day of celebration comes just before Mothers’ day, a day that we all recognize the strength,  passion and grace with which  mothers shape the lives of their children. As they  enter into this marriage, creating their own family, they bring to each other the history and lifetime of the gifts given to them. Please accept these roses and know that your gift of time and care has made the difference in their lives. Thank you, with all our hearts.”rr

Thank you Andy Warhol, for the quote, lol…..If it’s true, then I can relax.  I was invited to be a guest on the Fox Network’s terrrific news magazine show, “Good Day Street Talk”, which aired last Saturday morning (and I do mean morning; it was about 6 AM  yikes; thankfully we taped it before hand….at noon…..). The show focused on people who create “encore careers”, deciding, um, a little later in life to switch careers and do something they really love.  I got to talk about starting my practice as a wedding minister and officiant in New Jersey and New York.  The entire show, (not just the Celia Milton section) is very interesting, and inspiring for anyone thinking of starting a new gig, be it cupcakes or ceremonies!