Everything that you decide to do for your wedding will take at least twice as long as you think, including lining up the bridal party to get down the aisle.

If you’re going to hand color your invitations with four of your closest friends, chill at least two bottles of champagne.

That dog you love so much is not going to walk down the aisle on command, no matter how much Au Jus aftershave the groom is wearing. It’s okay; it’ll be fun anyway.

One bridesmaid will break her heel; one groomsman will break his arm.

Your closest guests will be the ones who get lost. Unless the ceremony is at their house.

I believe I mentioned that everything you decide to do for your wedding (making favors, doing the flowers, baking cupcakes, hand lettering placecards) will take twice as long as you think. Make that three times as long and you’re safe!