Your vows are just that; your vows; they should reflect the promises that are important to your marriage. Love and honor, very cool. Obey? Maybe not.

You can write them yourself, with the help of many sites online and books; you can steal them from me, if you’d like (just write me off the board and I’ll get you some samples). You can use lyrics, poetry, prose; just about anything that expresses your intentions to your spouse and partner. Make them joyful; not obligations. Make them personal, not oblique. Make them funny if you wish; make them sappy if you must. They are yours to play with and follow out….